jel's blogging it

my dubai must- haves

2010-09-07T00:14:00.000+04:00

1. a pair of good quality sunglasses
Before living in Dubai, I was not the type to wear shades on a daily basis, but now I make sure I have a pair on whenever I go outside to shield my eyes from the piercing heat. Investing in a good pair or two with really strong UV protection is recommended. Tip: Don't fall for the Buy one Take one hook in most convenience stores, i did a long while ago and the shades made my head ache!

2. Comfy sneakers
Being a mall rat, I love the huge shopping malls in Dubai but my feet definitely don't! Now I make sure I have my trusty pair of Nikes on when I spend the day in the mall, or a comfy pair of sandals/slippers when shoe shopping.

3. MAC Studio Fix
Not everyone is blessed with good skin so girls like me have to rely on the power of Mac Studio Fix to look at least presentable. This product is magic and can stand 45 degrees C of heat, with just a couple of blotting paper touch ups.

4. Lip Balm and Moisturizers
Battle the dryness! I make sure to always carry around a tube of Burts Bees or VS lip balm and B&B lotion to even out the flake.

5. Anti Hair Fall Shampoo
For some weird reason, the water here in Dubai is not hair friendly.It was a struggle to find a shampoo that suited my hair type without adding to the hairfall problem- and minimise it. Mine is Head and Shoulders Pink. What's yours?

6.Laptop
Every expat should have one. It is the most essential tool for communicating with family abroad, job hunting, socialising, etc.

7. Vitamin C
Being inside the AC for the whole day then braving the heat outside is not good for the system. Taking 1000mg a day protects me from getting sick.

8. Jacket and Scarves
I find the Dubai winter cold and that's perfectly normal, i guess, if you come from a tropical country like the Philippines. So I stock a few jackets and scarves for the colder months in my closet

9. A nice smelling cologne for the elevators
My least favorite moment is getting stuck in the elevator with an unbearable 'smell'. If i'm carrying my bag, I just take out my atomiser and spray when the 'smell' loads off.

10. Water
I know, i SHOULD drink more water.

thoughts 8 months into 2010

2010-08-19T00:50:00.000+04:00

okaaay. so i finally managed to transfer all my blog posts from my 5 separate blogs and export them to my original, first ever blog address which is this one. So all my other ones are dead- may exist somewhere in the blog-o-sphere but will not be updated... super inggit that zeena zalamea kept all her blog posts in one, so i really studied how to transfer na.it feels nice to know that i have one solid blog where all my thoughts are kept and published.

It has been a crazy 8 months. i feel that it was just a flurry of events , hard work and sleepless nights. Traveled 5x in the past 7 months, the shortest one for 4 days, the rest about 10-12 days and the longest one 22 days. As one of my arabic colleagues put it, i'm lucky that i have a supportive hubby who understands my work.

the year started with a movie in production , rushed and completed shooting by April. Then immediately following the film,. a series of 7 tvcs needed to be done (in 4 laguages) and completed by June... and just when i was scheduled to take my annual vacation, one of the biggest projects in the agency happened in July- which im still doing now.. so i guess no leaves for me for the next 4 months... that's gonna be 2 years since my last annual vacation, where my only break from work happened when i had an operation, when i had a serious flu and when i had a 1-2 day stopover on a trip

In the past 8 mos...there's new friends, lost friends, better friends, friends newly reacquainted with and long distance friends ive seen recently... Friends who stay the same in terms of your relationship with them even if you haven't seen them for a long time and there's friends who consider appearances more important than how you'll feel. There's been laughs , loves, fights and hurts, weight gains and weight loss.

the past 8 months is a flutter of memories.. i loved the early beach dates with my husband where we just hang out and stare at the ocean, hanging out with the dubai gang, Glee marathon with friends, following the world cup only to miss the finals as i was aboard a plane at the exact time, nighttime safari and walking aimlessly -lost- in the streets of singapore , pigging out in cebu while hitting only 3 hrs of sleep a day, drunk nights in w hollywood and that wicked hangover in the city where what happens there, stay where it is.

Oh and this month, im celebrating my 3rd year in dubai. the city i actually came to love , where i found love and hopefully bring me more lovely days in the coming years.

one thing ive learned is to have more time for my self, my husband, my family and personal stuff... in the end, i want to look back with no regrets. i believe success is not being cutthroat and just pushing people away to get on top of the game,.. success is being able to recognize what is important to you and making that your priority.
sheesh. cheesy i know, but hey as Khloe Kardashian puts it... " So go out and party and be merry with the people you love."(Khloe Kardashian SOURCE: NBC New York)

advanced christmas

2009-12-11T18:29:00.000+04:00

Christmas season started early as i received lots of gifts this early..well mostly doubled up as wedding and xmas presents but i dont mind at all!

> got loads of stuff from johnnys family in syria- from clothes,shoes, food, and jewellry

>got a surprise wedding reception during our office xmas party from the bosses

> our boss flew in my mom and dad to dubai as a surprise gift- theyre staying till new year

>got Pinoy stuff gifts from ma and pa

> got my essay published in PDI

Youngblood

> wine glasses from kashif

>best wishes from everyone

Things im still waiting to receive:

1. trendy espresso cup set

2. MAC Studio Fix NC40 (foundation)

3. the new john grisham novel

4. surprise me…

whew too long

2008-12-04T18:28:00.000+04:00

it’s been too long since ive posted anything in here, and now i promise to update this blog regularly.

here’s 5 great things ive achieved since my last post:

1. went on to my annual leave and visited cyprus and latakia syria

2. got married while in cyprus during a too quick sunset by the beach

3. learned tons of arabic in syria and met all the rest of my husband’s (ehehe) family

4. got a new job focus in my company as a producer and part time PA

5. lost 5 kilograms yey!

yala, til next post

good and bad

2008-07-25T18:26:00.000+04:00

Good: Met up with Johnny’s cousin last night and had couple of drinks of kiwi juice and arag (for them)

Bad: Had to stay up late and miss my car pool for the 3rd time this week!

Good: once in the office, toshibamillionaire website was up with very tiny changes from client

Bad:Had to update 19 pages of work in progress report

Good: Technically halfday on Sunday because will accompany new Account director with flat hunting

Bad : Coffee got cold because had to do a detour and brief the studio guys

Good: Had nice late lunch of oriental prawns with office mates

Bad: Too much emails in lotus notes to read, manage and not forget.

Good: Got email from ecensus with birth certs, etc that i requested online which took them only 2-3 days to process, now i am a firm believer of the Philippine online Government system.

Bad:Realized that it’s almost month’s end and my budget is depleted

Good: Bosses held lottery raffle this afternoon with everyone winning cash

Bad: Not so lucky in Raffle- got consolation but hey, the amout is actually NOT bad at all!

i'm older now

2008-05-31T18:26:00.000+04:00

Quarter of a century. This might sound a bit too cliche but i still have to say that time flies so fast. I can still remember when i was in elementary school and mama won’t let us watch TV on schoolnights so whenever i’d miss Campus Romance on GMA 7, i’ll just lie down in bed thinking up my own plots and pairing up my favorite TV stars and watch the episode in my head.Then i’ll fall asleep thinking ‘yeah right’. Fast forard to 2005, i am working at the biggest TV network in the Philippines and my childhood hobby is actually my real job. And just thinking about it now, i just shake my head because that was 3 years ago and i am now in the middle east with a totally different life.

25 is old. That is according to my 15 year old mind 10 years ago. A couple of months back, it started to dawn on me that the answer to the question "how do you see yourself 10 years from now" which was always asked in highschool and in college entrance exams is actually the present. This is assessment time. I realized that I’ve done a lot, I’ve been through a lot of things people i meet now say ‘really?’

Then, I ask myself about my life now. I’m happy. I don’t like any contradictions. I feel good now whenever i do something good for other people. Like good karma. I now know that being a good friend does not neessarily mean saying yes to everything. It’s my life too so I also count.It means accepting that some friends are simply the way they are. it does not help to pretend that they are otherwise. I still feel upset though whenever i get disappointed and other people just make it their business to make lives messier.

Reiz told me a few days back that i sound so mature like I think differently. Well i guess i have always been this way but now my age caught up with my brain and everything fell into place to make everything seem right ( i hope that makes sense). i don’t want to struggle anymore with senseless things that do not benefit anyone. i just want to live my life and be happy.I’m older now… it’s time for me to just savor the experience and face life with my head up.

parumdumm

2008-05-21T18:25:00.000+04:00

i got a message today in Friendster- a message that is a part of my past back in Manila. It was not that surprising because my birthday is coming up and this person just kinda pops up whenever there’s an occassion. Got the same message last Christmas, new year and valentines, so it may be a routine for this chap. I chose not to reply because i have a new life and i did not want past memories to drag on. I have to admit that receiving those messages at that time still makes me wonder - whatthahell? But now as i am writing this post , with my boyfriend just sitting here beside me, i felt totally at peace. i felt nothing but just wishing that this person will be happy with life as i am. I am not saying my life is perfect, it is also a rollercoaster ride but everyday, i am learning and i feel thankful that i found the person who will always be just there for me., no matter what.

feeling a bit patriotic

2008-05-20T18:24:00.001+04:00

In a city where seeing a Ferrari being stuck in traffic is a common thing, it is surprising that in some aspects, Dubai still lacks the maturity expected of a global hotspot. This may sound too demanding but living in the city for roughly 9 months, i still can’t help but notice that there are times when Manila can be lots more sophisticated than this rich city.

It is not actually the city itself, because the way the government run the place is plausible. The laws are pretty firm, the development of the city is enviable and jobs are aplenty. It’s the people–what I noticed is that people are way more relaxed in this fast paced city as if things are not really taken seriously. This is surprising because people from all over the world go here to work and earn loads of money so you would actually expect a level of talent, skill and professionalism that would match the sky high salaries. But at the end of the day, that is not the case. What you see is good looking , fast talking westerners way up there ruling the corporate ‘desert’ while the much more adept asians earning much lower do all the dirty work and most often than not, dumb themselves up a little because they know that even if they fight hard enough, they can never win in this racist game 99 percent of the time. so why waste the effort right?

Maybe this is why we see mediocrity being pushed to reality. i am not talking about the Burj or the Dubai Mall because those projects are of course exceptional. What i am talking about are the small things we see everyday in our work, in our home and wherever we go. I am talking about the crappy real estate ads we see everyday in Gulf News (like a building comparing itself to a fresh scent of a flower, whattha!?*&%#$%^) or maybe the bad service we get from clueless blondies in 5 star hotels, or that very rude customer service agent who’s supposed to help you do your phonebanking, or that totally unforgivable fuckup by the supposedly very good music company in a big public do, irritating things like taxi shortage and taxi discrimination or the traffic in the International City entrance because there is a single Uturn available for everyone in all 387 buildings! … the list can go on and on.All of this is a reflection of the quality of work people in Dubai are actually delivering. Is it because since the money is available and more or less disposable, company owners take for granted that they can get better work force than what they currently have? Or maybe it’s because the talented people don’t really exert effort because no one really expects them to?

It saddens me sometimes because here you can compare and see that Filipinos have a lot of potential. I can’t help but think what would happen if the philippines would have the resources to make something out of our little country…just imagine what we can all do. What if we take away all the graft and political bullshit? Maybe our claim to fame would not be charice pempengco but something bigger. But that is of course wishful what ifs. So maybe we can do the next best thing. take over. thanks to Aga Muhlach, and Claudine Baretto- Dubai has actually become one of the top destinations for Filipino professionals . Dubai is fast becoming the overseas solution for people like us who were not that gifted to manage a nursing degree but still dream of getting a better job out of the Philippines.Hmmm, as more and more Filipinos flock to Dubai, excuse the patriotism, but maybe we can actually help make this place a better one.

missing flat

2008-05-09T16:33:00.000+04:00

After many weeks of stress, late nights and hard work, our client’s big event is finally over. We were all dressed up last night to attend the the launch at the posh ballroom of the Jumeirah Beach hotel. It was a stand up thing with drinks and canapes being offered around. Even if there were glitches caused by the events company, it was all in all alright. tel and i were hungry though, because strangely enough, we did not see half of what’s supposed to be served in the canapes menu (we know because we did the food tasting!). We made up for the lack of food by filling ourselves with virgin pina coladas and coca cola.

One funny moment though was when one of the client did not recognize me. Imagine, I can be one of their part-time employees already if you count the time I’m spending with that account , hehe. Well, maybe because I was not in my usual office get-up and i snuck out of the office at 4:30 pm to get my hair blow-dried for a ridiculous sum of 100dhs! but it was worth it, at least , my hair was tame during the photo ops!

Too sleepy after the event, i got into a taxi and got home at around half past ten. I entered the building, got into the elevator and smiled at the chinese girl in there. It’s good to be friendly with neighbors, especially those seen for the first time. I got out of my floor and walked to the door of our flat. When i was about to open the door with my key, i realized that it was not my door, and to my horror, the door of my flat was missing! it felt really creepy because it’s like my flat disappeared and everything was different in that corridor. It did not help that i was doing a HEROES marathon during the past couple of days! I paced the corridor, closed and opened my eyes but still, the doors and flat numbers are all mixed up. It cannot be that i’m in the wrong floor because the flat numbers are correct, they were just in a mixed up position. After a few minutes , i went to the elevator thinking to go down first and then return to see if maybe i was drunk or something and i just needed to clear my head.So i went down but when i reached the ground floor i realized my mistake. i was in the wrong building! I am 2 buildings away! maybe because the buildings look the same, and because i was sleepy and just came out of the taxi and did the routine walk to my flat, i did not realize that the taxi stopped in front of the wrong building.

It was bothering but in the end i just had a good laugh over my twisted stupidity. Hmm, maybe i should sleep more.

bad tuesdays

2008-04-30T15:59:00.000+04:00

there’s a song by a reality pop star wannabe in Manila which rants on about him hating Tuesdays. i liked this song because it has a catchy melody and cute lyrics, but now i’m beginning to feel that i sympathize with this dude because for some odd reason, my Tuesdays have been really crappy lately.

i’m always late on tuesdays. i just can’t seem to get up and move my butt to the shower to catch my carpool in the morning which comes really early so i arrive at work like an hour before i am supposed to be there. being early is actually good because i can get work done even before people get to the office so i dont panic too much when everyone starts to cram up stuff by 9am. but during Tuesdays, i arrive just in time to not have our receptionist send the fyi email that "jellyn will be late today". somehow, i get to office before that happens but then, i become cranky because i’m out of my usual early, relax, have coffee routine, not to mention, i paid 35 dirhams extra to get to work.

Today has been really frustrating. I aimed to finish all my ‘things to do’ before 4 pm but things are just out of my control. If only i knew how to do everything myself, maybe that would make me feel better than just sitting and waiting, helpless. That really defined my Tuesday.

Tuesday being the middle of the work week means lots of pending work to finish before the weekend deadlines hit me on the face.Tuesday means too late to have that recharged energy from the weekend yet too early to look forward to Thursday night. Tuesday means nothing really special actually

Zeena sent me a message this morning about some really goody goody news, so i guess that makes this Tuesday special for her. For me, the highlight of my Tuesday today is watching ‘The Biggest Loser’ on MBC. how cool is that, huh? Really. I need to revamp my Tuesdays.

starting over (lifted from scrawls blog)

2008-04-25T15:54:00.000+04:00

it took me 3 months to finally be satisfied with how my new blog looks like, with the blog title and to get the energy and patience to write my first post. My drafts folder is almost full with incomplete thoughts that i cannot seem to finish. For me, writing the first post is always the hardest because that sets up the tone of my blog. It’s what makes me excited to post something new. Weird , i know. It would be easier if i just continued on writing in my last blog but reading my last post there 7 months ago, it made me realize how different i am today from that girl writing that last post.

That last post was written the day before my life took a u-turn and started to speed up into a totally different highway and it was not something i planned or did intentionally. That night, i was writing straight from what i was feeling without trying to fool myself that i knew better. my last line was filled with hope that i’ll finally find someone who’ll just make me feel fine.

After 7 months, here i am, finally writing my very first post while munching on Burger King delivery fries and cheese sticks. So how am i today? Well, I am a few kg heavier than i was 7 months ago (understatement!) but that’s okay coz I lost 2 kg in the last 2 weeks , hehe. I am a lot busier at work and the challenge to do well is overwhelming. I am feeling great because last night, i discovered a beauty salon near our flat building where pedicures are 20 dirhams cheaper than the usual nail spas. While in the salon, the Filipina dermatologist thought I was Chinese and spoke to me in broken English trying to convince me to try their skin care. I was convinced so now, my face hurts a little bit coz i started the 1st of my 5 session facial this afternoon. In the last 7 months, i learned how to be a better person. I admit that because I am too busy with my work and my relationship, I hardly have time to go out now and meet up with friends as before. I am not the same jel who just jump in any night out without hesitation. I guess some might think that’s bad but for someone like me who, after 24 years, finally found someone who’ll cherish her…me and that someone becomes more important. I’ve been too involved in my new life that i am guilty of having no time to do the old stuff like blogging, reading, dvd marathons , etc. This leads me to my theory that girls who have boyfriends at a young age don’t really do well in school because there is simply no time for them to study anymore.

Generally, i am much calmer now. I learned to relax, let go and live in the present. I will start to write again though. This morning I discovered that my highschool english teacher and schoolpaper adviser is visiting in Dubai. I am going to meet her soon and i guess talking to her today made me remember how i love writing my thoughts, without having to worry if i’m missing spelling or my grammar is bad. and you know what, it really feels good to start again.

miniature thoughts

2007-09-24T15:46:00.000+04:00

i always thought that i am a strong girl but a very wise guy (Kashif, one of my sister's bestfriends) told me bluntly a couple of hours ago that i am a coward.I am scared of getting hurt so i become cynical and avoid it altogether by refusing to just let it go and risk it all..

***

In the same conversation, i was also able to admit that yes i ran away, i escaped from a job that i loved back home because i don't want to be hurt again by the people i value.But cant people just understand that leaving was a greater risk for me? or am i really stubborn?

***

i refuse to accept that i should compromise what i believe in just to get ahead. pleasure and meaning. im still trusting my instincts for now and hoping for the best.

***

theres a reason for everything, maybe the reason why i got a good job here is because god is preparing me for something….i just found out what it was and it hurts so much.

***

im gonna take it easy.

***

at the end of the day i know what i want.

***

i know he's out there, whoever he is.

16 random thoughts on leaving

2007-08-27T15:45:00.000+04:00

1. Sixteen days ago, I abandoned the last three years of my life and flew to the desert.

2. It was raining so hard when I left that classes were suspended the next day but I was not there to witness that weather dictated holiday.

3. Lye, one of my closest friends told me that the "skies are crying". It was as if nature was stopping me from leaving.

4. When my boss texted me asking me to miss my flight, I imagined a typical Pinoy film ending where the heroine runs from the airport, all wet from the rain singing "Let the love begin…."

5. The long-delayed presentation of the project I pioneered was scheduled on the exact day of my flight.

6. I saw the only person I hate in ABS hours before I left, and I still hate him.

7. When I hugged my boss goodbye, I almost cried.

8. I almost left my passort, visa and other important documents the first time I had my bags checked at the airport.

9. I was the only Filipina in the Emirates flight wearing slacks and heels. All the others were wearing jeans , rubber shoes and shirts that suspiciously looked like Blowing Bubbles.

10. One of the flight attendants dated one of my friends.

11. I realized that having your period on your first ever international flight makes the experience "challenging".

12. I left both of my phones on for the entire 8 hours of the flight and did not notice. I could have caused a major plane crash.

13. I spent almost 3 hours of the flight watching The Simpsons' reruns.

14. When i got off the plane, I realized that my batteries were drained. I had no idea how to contact my sister.

15. I 'm beginning to love Indians. My sister's Indian best friend, Satya, was very nice— he drove us from the airport to Deira.

16. Left on a jetplane… don't know when I'll be back again.

plus TEN

2007-07-05T15:42:00.000+04:00

28 days…

In the movie version of the same title, it took Sandra Bullock only 28 days in rehab to get over her alcohol problem and finally get a life.

In my own life version, it's not 28 but exactly 38 days since that 'brave' day when i finally found the guts to speak my mind and bare my soul. Since that day, I've been trying to update my blog and write about what happened- friendster, multiply, iblog…but i can't seem to put my feelings into cyber-characters and form a decent entry. i can't find the perfect words to justify what i was truly feeling at that moment.

And now, here i am. it's 1:35 in the morning… i can't sleep and for some weird reason i felt that i am now ready to blog. i thought maybe it's because ive moved on 'coz it all happened more than a month ago… but when i counted , it was exactly 38 days.

so does this mean i am finally over him and next, ill be able to get a life too? maybe. 38 days is not such a long time to brood and mourn over a nonexistent relationship… considering this whole stupid drama has been going on for the last two years. 38 days is fine i guess, so what if it's 10 days longer than Sandra's timeframe… heck he's worse than an alcohol problem … he's an addiction i'm afraid to go back to. for the past year, ive been trying to convince myself that i'm free of him but no, time and again i still kept on coming back… hurting myself more, destroying my sanity.

But 38 days ago, i finally told him that i need to go on with my life. i finally had the balls to tell him that i'm tired of the games he's playing, and most importantly, i finally had the guts to admit to myself that the reason why i kept silent all this time was because i was afraid to lose him completely. That's the reason why i also convinced myself that i was okay with the leftover attention i kept on getting from him…but i'm done with that. Now 38 days after that fateful day, i have not heard a single word from him. not a single beep. not a single text. not a single howdy. I know that one big factor is that for the past 38 days , i was also able to control myself from talking to him, texting him, anything. finally he's gone. completely.

now, i have mixed feelings. a little sad of course- that same sad feeling when you finish a good book or a movie… you knew from the start that it will end but that didn't stop you from feeling a little sad that it's finally over.

i'm also proud of myself of course. duh, other people who do not know the real story would call me stupid for being choosy and demanding (why not just take what i can get?) but hey, i deserve better.

and lastly i feel empty but in a good way. i'm actually excited to move on and fill my life with new people and new memories. and promise, i'm going to start now.

beginning to

2007-04-27T15:21:00.000+04:00

April 27, 2007
for so long i tried to bear the indifference

i know it is hopeless to still believe

i know i have to give you up

i know i have to forget

at some point i was able to

i turned myself numb to stop you from clouding my consciousness

but you seem to be an addiction i keep coming back to

there are times when it's you who lures me into those deceptive arms

as if stopping me from totally shutting you out of my life

you tease me with your sweet words

making me remember, making me want more than what you are willing to give

and when you are assured that i am once again trapped into your cruel passion

hanging on to your every move

you shift into that uncaring thief who stole my peace of mind

you break me with your blah responses

as if wanting me to beg for the littlest of attention

yes i am tempted. so very

but i know that i can't

even if this means i face the risk of losing you completely

because if i do, it is my own sanity i'll lose

extreme, crazy, i know

but as i continue typing these words

i am beginning to

forget? no.

hate. yes hate. such negative feeling is what i need to feel

to wash you away from me, my mind, my heart

sigh. at this point, i may not totally hate you yet

heck maybe love is what i still feel

but believe, i am beginning to.

beachin weekend

2007-04-23T15:14:00.000+04:00

went to galera this weekend with some highschool buds. the scenario was like another World Youth Day Celebration-clothes off. It was as if everyone conspired to crowd galera at the exact weekend i planned on switching to my relax mode.

i forgot all about diet, i just ate whatever i felt like eating, drowned my system with REGULAR coke (no Light puhlzzz!),La Mumba & mindoro slings, and just lazed around the beach- generally.

Well of course, had a few interesting scenes with my friend(s)- ugh almost (or is it actually) ruined a few golden hours of galera time. but what the heck. i hope i got my point across though.

all i wanted was a few glorious hours of just doin nothin but stare at nothing. i got what i wanted- and a few fab pics as a bonus too

what i really need right now

2007-03-20T15:07:00.001+04:00

The last two weeks have been the most stressing part of 2007 for me… i obsessed myself with work so i won't focus on other blah aspects of my life (like love ehem). But everything was just messed up…there came a point when the pressure and the demands of work made me want to give up and cry in a corner. That's why i was so looking forward to my Davao trip (March 16-19). It was a very timely break from my crazy schedule but up until the last minute, something would always come up and it seemed that the only thing that would prevent me from working is shutting myself out to the world. Fortunately, the trip went well. Even if the trip itself is tiring coz the tourist spots are so far away from one another, i felt rested and refreshed… or maybe just the thought of being able to get away put a sense of sanity into my system.

But now, 2 days after landing back in Manila (the real world),i still feel that something's missing. My schedule is not as crazy- i was able to get off a project i can't fit into my schedule; i'm starting to get the hang of being an SP; my other 2 shows are right on sked; heck , i was even able to go home early and write this crap. so there's actually no reason for me to still complain but no– i feel that my mind is still muddled up.i don't really know what to do but maybe this (see below) will help me get my self on track. i made a list of ten random things that could possibly solve this weird state of mind. sigh. if you could help me achieve any of this, just drop me a line

1. a loooong spa treatment with full body massage, foot scrub, mani and pedicure

2. a "real" conversation (over coffee) with zeena

3. see zettesu before she leaves for new york

4. haircut and cellophane treatment

5. galera getaway

6. cute boys (hey, who doesn't?)

7. a relaxing dinner with friends i don't see or talk to anymore! (hah! is that u?)

8. new hobby

9. new crush

10. closure

diet

2007-01-19T15:07:00.000+04:00

i am on a mission… and that is to lose weight! For the past 18 days, i have not eaten rice and i've been limiting my carbs intake to a maximum of 4 times a week. As of day 14, i already lost 8 pounds so i am getting more and more inspired not to cheat and continue with my diet.

At the same time that i started my diet, i also promised myself to go on a love diet, meaning no boys, no texting, no friendster, no emails- as of day 14 i have been successful. I was able to control myself from not texting "him" and I did not even reply to the email he sent on Day 6. I pushed myself to concentrate on my career, on myself, anything but food and love. Call it my own version of Detox for the new year.

But come Day 15, he suddenly messaged me on YM. At first i ignored it but when he Buzzed me already, i gave in. I reasoned that i didn't want to look like a snob so why not? a simple 'huy' would not hurt. The exchange comprised of small talk, the usual "as-if-he's-concerned-that-i'm-not-home-yet" replies, the bait if i'll be willing to see him again (if ever) and it ended with "…yes, i'll do that when we see each other next time…goodnight". All in all, it was vague and pointless. It was as if he was just trying to reaffirm my presence in his life since i suddenly disappeared during the past 2 weeks. yeah, i told myself i should've ignored him. stupid girl.

I'm actually not really that affected anymore that the exchange was nonsense, i'm more disappointed with the fact that i was not able to control myself from talking to him. But i realized that when you are in that situation, it's pretty hard not to give in. It's worse than being inside a chocolate shop while trying to lose weight! I felt that all my efforts from day 1-14 were put to waste.

Oh well, at least now, i know that food is not really my weakness.

chris-must

2006-12-22T15:06:00.000+04:00

i have so much to do and it's just 2 days before christmas! i have been trying to complete my xmas list for a month now but i don't know what's gotten into me coz up until now i'm still rushing things. i was planning on getting the rest of the stuff today but i remembered how much crowded the malls are and how hard it is to get a taxi, so i changed my mind and slept in! now instead of crashing the stores im blogging! whew!

anyway, before i forget to do this: I WANT TO GREET ALL OF YOU A MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS and yes, MAY ALL OF OUR WISHES come true! mwah.

my new mantra for 2007? just believe!

limbo

2006-12-12T15:04:00.000+04:00

i am in the time of my life when i feel as though i am just hanging in there… i don't really know where… i'm just there somewhere. this place makes me unsure of what i really want to do, who i really want to be with and what will really make me happy. tough but the weird thing about this place is that i feel relaxed. my mind is blank and it seems that there is this invisible blanket that is covering all my emotions temporarily. maybe all the mumble jumble i was feeling in the past weeks has numbed me to the point of not feeling anything.

a lot of things are happening around me,,, life turning events at that. my sister whom i haven't seen for 9 mos. just came back from dubai for christmas, i am once again in civil terms with two of my estranged friends, one of my dearest friends disappointed me -major last week and she doesn't know it , i am in constant battle with my brother, my love life is in a roller coaster… with all these, i am just at loss how i arrived at this state.

now i fear that one of these days i will just crash and break down. and of course, antagonize the people around me. now that i think about it, i hate being in this state. i can't concentrate on my work, on my friends, or on anything at all because i'm just there but not really. i know that i am not making sense but i am just trying to find something concrete that will define WHO i am at this point of my life. the darned thing is that i know i'm looking for something but i'm not sure what i'm actually looking for or where to start. everyday i just fall deeper into unknown nothingness without really feeling, seeing… anything. sigh.

maybe i need to rest but i've never felt so rested in my life.
i just got my hair done, i was thinking that this will calm me or whatever but it didn't … just made my hair a little redder than black. no im not Rouge now so don't fuss. i just wish i am so that i can absorb other people's happy Christmas energy… selfish i know. tough.

my life's current playlist

2006-12-07T14:59:00.000+04:00

My friend Zeena posted a blog entry about me last week. i was deeply touched and bothered at the same time. I realized that my friends were actually worried about me– which prompted me to pour my heart out in this post … read on…

"my life's current playlist…"

“ If I’m not in love with you… what is this I’m going through…?”

I woke up one morning and realized that for the first time in my life, I was in love. I was already expecting the butterflies; the chocolates and roses kind of emotions that will keep my head in the clouds for days but what I did not expect was the deep ache that literally hurt my chest. I hugged my pillow and I felt that I was bursting yet I also felt so empty inside. Tears wanted to well up but at the same time I was feeling so drained that my eyes couldn’t even manage a drop.

“ I love you … you didn’t feel the same …”

Then I realized that I was feeling one of the most common yet cruel forms of love: the unrequited kind.

“Out of reach, so far I never had your heart…”

I knew from the start that this man is out of my league. I knew that we really don’t have anything in common. I knew that being with him is impossible and that I could just love him from afar. But a year ago, fate had other plans. It brought us together in the most unexpected way. I was thrilled of course because he was my ultimate crush and just getting to know him a little bit more was definitely something. He was just suddenly in my life surprising everyone especially me but he was also gone so suddenly that I was not able to feel any major loss. I was able to convince myself that his presence was just a temporary indulgence. I was not affected that much because I barely knew him. I was okay.

“You know I’m such a fool for you,

You got me wrapped around your finger,

Do you have to let it linger…?

But fate was not that kind. It brought us together again and again but it was not the typical ‘dating slash flirting’ period. It dragged on for more than a year with him being the constant inconsistency in my life. Here now, gone tomorrow. Repeat. Each time he appears, I was subconsciously falling a little deeper. That was the drama.

“Maybe it’s wrong to say please love me too coz’ I know you’ll never do’

Being the cynical & intelligent person that I am, I lectured myself a million times about him. I repeatedly told myself not to expect anything because I am 99 percent sure that he won’t really shape up. My motto was to expect the worst so that I’ll be able to appreciate the good little things when they happen. I was my own devil’s advocate and it’s really uncanny because most of the time, the advices I get from my friends are the exact same things that I tell myself.

“Because I’d still say yes to you again… darling for you I’ll do it over and over again”

But there are times when I just drop all these logical ideas and just go on with what my feelings tell me, what makes me happy. The difference is that I’m entering this situation with my eyes; mind; and heart wide open, knowing that hurt is inevitable. I am trying to derive pleasure from what I can get in the moment without kidding myself that a happily ever after awaits me. I know that I am doing this more for myself than for him. I don’t refuse to see reason, I see the obvious what-to-dos oh so very clearly but I chose not to heed them not to be difficult but to be happy.

“You are the one thing that keeps me smiling…I’m lost in space without you”

My friends are actually worried about my actions because they don’t want me to get hurt. I appreciate that. So much. This is the reason why I want to tell them that hey, don’t worry about me coz’ I am happy. He makes me happy. Believe it or not, even with all the hurting. I really am.

"Someday someone’s gonna love me

The way I wanted you to need me

Someday someone’s gonna take your place

One day I’ll forget about you

Someday someday"

Single -mindedness

2006-12-04T14:01:00.000+04:00

I’ve never had a boyfriend. Yes, after this first line, I know what you’re probably thinking: “Hell, this is another cheesy NO Boyfriend Since Birth tale of a lonely, soon-to-be old maid!” or “ I’ve read slash heard slash watched this ‘I Chose To Be Single’ crap before…” Yes I know because I am one of you. Being single myself and hoping to feel consoled and empowered, I also read and devoured these stories and articles until I became so fed up with the same things being written over and over again. Why? ‘Coz it’s actually getting me nowhere! I still don’t have a boyfriend and if I hear someone tell me one more time that it’s fun to be single, I’ll gladly and unapologetically wring his or her neck!

So if you expect this to be your usual You Go Girl! article, capital S-O-R-R-Y because this is definitely not it. I’m tired of all the WHY BEING SINGLE IS A BLAST or WHY I’M SINGLE AND LOVING IT sh*t that are supposed to make you feel less of a loser, puhleeez. I’m here to give you my own tactless, no-holds barred, sometimes even bitchy account of the real thing: WHY BEING SINGLE SUCKS.

MYTH # 1

It’s fun being single because you get to spend more time with your family

Oh yeah? Tell that to someone whose mom, titas and even lola are constantly bugging her to introduce the nonexistent boyfriend to the family and take him to dinner. There are times when I believe that my mom is actually worried if she brought me up right because five years after she allowed me to have a boyfriend, I still haven’t come up with a guy she’ll approve or even disapprove of. I imagine that my mom already has this I-don’t-like-him- he’s-not-good-for-you speech she’s way ready to shout at me but still hasn’t found the chance to. Maybe it became too anti-climactic for her that’s why she’s so eager for me to just get on with it and introduce any guy to her, anyone!

MYTH # 2

It’s fun being single because you get to go out and gimik with your friends whenever you want to

Did I hear the word friends? Yes, I have a lot of friends, tons of them. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my friends but being with them 90 percent of my free time also has its side effects. One, you get a little too possessive of your friends. Since you depend on them for companionship, it’s not surprising that you get green-eyed when they meet new buddies and you feel suddenly left out. You want to keep them inside your circle because without them, you’re alone. There’s no special someone waiting for you in case a friend decides to take a rain check five minutes before the One Night Only Black Eyed Peas concert you’ve saved up for. Heck, you even bought matching outfits for the event only to find out that you’ll have to scream LETS GET RETARDED alone and look like, yes, a retarded.

Which brings me to my next point: When you have a boyfriend, you have someone to go with you to the mall and carry your stuff when your shopping buddy doesn’t feel like it; You have someone to watch your much awaited movie with when all your friends already watched it; There’s someone who’ll take you home without arguing who goes first; someone you can ask to go to Mercury Drug when you’re sick and couldn’t get up… The list goes on but the bottom line is: Our friends also have lives of their own and being single doesn’t give us the right to monopolize all their time and we can’t always ask them to do things for us even if we really need them to. Being single sometimes makes us this kind of friends. We don’t want to feel alone so we share with them not only our joys but also our miseries. Sometimes we even expect them to feel miserable like us! So instead of being all fun and funky, we just scare them away with all our negative energies. Tsk, tsk. Destructive huh?

The next one is what every single girl dreads: her former single girl friends having boyfriends! I assure you this is a nightmare. I’m not being bitter or anything. I’m happy that my friends get to find their Mr. Rights but not when a girls’ night out suddenly turns into a couples’ night and nobody told me about it! Late last year, I, together with three other girl pals planned to watch a concert at Baywalk. On the night of the event, two of them brought their boyfriends with them, and unfortunately for me, our other single girl bud did not show up so I was instantly the fifth wheel! During that night, I was wishing so hard that fairy godmother would hear me and I’ll bump into Prince Charming right there and then. Either that or maybe Manila Bay would just swallow me up! I could’ve wailed if it was not so embarrassing!

MYTH # 3

It’s fun being single because you get to have more time to try new stuff you’ve always wanted to try

Rappelling, Target shooting, Slide for life, Chocolate making, Gymming, Adobe Photoshop, Video Editing, Traveling, Beach hopping, clubbing, bag making, pocketbook hoarding, DVD marathons of LOST, Desperate Housewives, Veronica Mars, Prison Break, My Name is Earl, even Koreanovelas! I followed the manual. I made myself busy with interesting and even daring, life-threatening stuff to make me forget that I’m single and enjoy ME time. Whenever I get an empty space in my usually busy schedule, I made sure to squeeze an activity so I won’t wallow with my solitary self. However, after some time doing all these things, jumping from one hobby to the next became not so exciting anymore. Sure, I enjoyed myself one way or another in these new found hobbies but it didn’t change the fact that there’s still not someone special to share these things with. While trying out these new things, there’s still that nagging hope that Future Boyfriend will suddenly pop out and introduce himself. Suddenly, I did it all wrong. Instead of focusing on having fun, I actually made these activities into an excuse to meet a guy. The gym instructor, the tour guide, the lifeguard, the chef, the laptop seller and even the guy lining up behind me in POWERBOOKS are suspects! PATHETIC. Go on, I’m not telling you to just sit there and get your share of oxygen. MOVE and do whatever you want to try out, as I’ve said I enjoyed myself but if you expect it to be the cure to your lonely heart- dream on honey.

MYTH # 4

It’s fun being single because you get to date lots of guys.

Like any normal single girl I know, I am always on the look out for a possible prey! I am a firm believer that if you really want to have a boyfriend, the least you could do is let the guys know that you’re interested and available. I’m not saying that girls should make the first move (they can in special cases) but girls should drop the pa-Maria Clara façade coz hiding behind an abaniko will make it hard for future boyfriends to find them! So on a regular night out, while my committed girl friends behave under the watchful eyes and constant phone call checks of their boyfriends, I dance the night away and flirt with guys around. And yes, I did meet guys: guys who can be termed as ‘boylets’. Boylet is how today’s generation call a guy who is more than your friend but is not really your boyfriend. You go out, you flirt, and you do things like you’re in a relationship but minus the commitment. I had my share of boylets but not one became a boyfriend. You can say that just having boylets has its own advantages. You get the same kilig feeling but you are not bound to see this guy exclusively. You can collect and collect until you feel that you’re ready to select. It’s hassle-free because your time is your own and you are not obliged to do girlfriend-things for the guy if you don’t want to. However, the downside is that this set-up goes both ways. The boylet can also see other girls; he can collect and collect and NOT select you in the end; he can disappear and you can’t demand for time because you don’t really have the right to do so. In the end, after all the kilig and excitement, you know that there’s no assurance that he really cares for you and worse, it’s mostly the girls who fall for the boylets and not the other way around. It’s a heartbreak waiting to happen. But of course, you can’t blame girls like me from engaging in this type of set-up because really, deep in our hearts, we know that there’s a wish that one of these boylets will turn out to be the real thing. So I must disagree. Being single and being able to date lots of guys do not always spell fun. Sometimes, dating becomes a tiring process that just play roller-coaster on a girl’s emotions. And you know what’s worse? Because of the low single woman-man ratio, it’s actually hard to find decent guys to date or meet in the first place!

* * *

Maybe you’re thinking what good would this article do anyway? Why let other single lonely girls read this depressing piece when chances are they’ll just feel more miserable, right? Feminists would probably jump at the chance to dissect this and see this as something that degrades women as it suggests that we need men to be happy. Well maybe you’re right and I’m wrong. Maybe all the FUN TO BE SINGLE empowerment stuff is really effective. Maybe there’s just something wrong with me that’s why I am not enjoying single life or worse, why I can’t get a decent guy for a boyfriend. But the reason why I really wrote this is because I want to tell the world how real women like me truly feel about being single. Wow, I appreciate that there are a lot of people who are there to cheer singles like me up, people who even offer advice on how to enjoy life even without a partner. But maybe deep inside, I’m just an old-fashioned romantic. Being single sucks when I have to spend another Valentines alone. It sucks when there’s nobody who sends me corny love messages not because its unlimited texting but because he means it. It sucks when people ask me if I have a boyfriend and when I answer no, they ask me why. It sucks when I’m tired from work and nobody’s there at the end of the day to tell me it’s all going to be all right. It sucks when I get dressed up and make myself pretty knowing that there’s no one special to tell me I’m beautiful whatever I’m wearing. It sucks when I’m already sleepy and there’s no one who’ll offer his shoulder for me to lean on. It sucks when there’s no one I could cuddle up with at night. It sucks when there’s no one to share my deepest thoughts with knowing that he’ll love me no matter what…

I’m sure that if I wanted to, I could note down a whole newspaper’s worth of reasons why it sucks being single but I’ll stop right here. Hopefully, I made my point. Hey, it’s okay to admit that being single makes you feel wretched at times, some times, or even most of the time. When I finally gave in to this realization, I was able to put it behind me. No more lying to myself that I’m okay when I’m really not. Now, I try to find happiness in other things because surprisingly, there’s really more to life than having a boyfriend. I’m not changing sides here, all I’m saying is that if you feel crap about being single (like I still do), no problemo, give in to the feeling, admit it. Stop denying the fact that your lovelife makes you feel miserable because you’ll not be able to find the solution if you don’t face that you have a problem about it. But like me, learn how to move on and not revolve around this sh**ty feeling. Now that you know that you don’t like the idea of being single, make this your motivation to shape up and become a better person so that when Mr. Right finally comes along, you’ll be ready.

happy birthday mother lye!

2006-09-28T16:41:00.000+04:00

alam ko wala pa promise ko hehe, pero eto muna for the meantime!

of corrs

2006-09-24T16:56:00.000+04:00

>>the corrs' concert was playing @ the bus this morning.. this song stuck and struck! <<

opened my eyes today
And I knew there's something different
Saw you in a brand new way
Like the clouds had somehow lifted
And if yesterday I heard
Myself saying these words
I would swear it was a lie
I don't know why but suddenly I'm falling
Was I so blind
I was loving you all the time
Now I'm hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted
I'll make a wish this day
And I'll send it to the heavens
That we will always stay
Entwined like this forever
And though the world may change
Coz nothing stays the same
I know will survive
I don't know why but suddenly I'm falling
Was I so blind
I was loving you all the time
Now I'm hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted
Naturally we acted
Hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted
Chemically reacted
Naturally we acted

magpakapilosopo

2006-09-19T12:13:00.000+04:00

i realized that one way to be happy is to be a semi-optimist. it is a mindset that i invented wherein you just tell yourself that you're going to have a good day whatever happens or whatever comes your way- good or bad. That way you don't expect things to fall into place but even if everything fails, you just brush it off and move on.

i've been trying to apply this for the past couple of days. And i'm actually surprised that it's working. i just put myself in a state of NOT expecting anything good or bad to happen (to the point of being a pessimist ba? hehe) then when something good actually does happen-- i just feel happier, although it still has its glitches because i still lose my cool and temper when something bad occurs... but then at the end of the day , i learn to just brush it all off and feel happy. weird pero effective way of relieving stress! :) sabi nga ni LA Dacula, quoted by Maemae, "Whatever it is , it won't matter 20 years from now" ... haaay , so true, sometimes we just sweat over small stuff that really doesn't help us be better or happier person. hmmm plato, aristotle, drink diva! hehehe!

some.

2006-09-15T16:59:00.000+04:00

http://jelgueco.i.ph/blogs/jelgueco/

lost in...

2006-09-15T16:45:00.000+04:00

Sometimes
I get tired
of this me first attitude
You are the one thing
that keeps me smiling
Thats why Im always wishing hard for you
cause your life
shines so bright
I dont feel no solitude
You are my first star at night
Id be lost in space without you
And Ill never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven,
if I do
Feels just so fine
When we touch the sky me and you
This is my idea of heaven
Why cant it always be so good
But its alright,
I know youre out there
Doing what youve gotta do
You are my soul satellite
Id be lost in space without you
And Ill never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do
And Ill never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do
And Ill never lose my faith in you

5 things I achieved this week

2006-09-15T16:10:00.000+04:00

1. I WAS ABLE TO FINISH A MAJOR CONCEPT FOR WORK

Yey! After all the sweat, money, tears, saliva, effort, time and Baang lemon iced teas and Twice Cooked Adobos- we finally finished the concept! Of course, I share the credit with two of my most precious friends- Bridgette and Elaineplim! I know that there may be times when they are just so tired that they just want to kill me so they could get some sleep,- that's why I bribe them with food hehe! Para makabawi! Thanks for sticking with me hehe. Wag sana magsawa! Lavyoo!

2. I WAS ABLE TO ATTEND MY LET's GO MEETING

I wasn't able to do so last week! So I just missed it hehe Even if I had to do lineups and power points, I actually call these once a week meetings my form of r&r- fun lang! Let's Go!

3. I HAD AN ENJOYABLE TFCKAT TAPING!

It was my first time to write for a variety show, and I have to admit, the first couple of tapings were really stressing my nerves! But today, even with some minor mistakes and some staff blow-ups ;) , i must say that i enjoyed it! For those who are abroad, TFC KAT is TFC's first self-produced variety show with Randy &Pokwang! Watch!

4. I WAS ABLE TO BAANG AND CHAT WITH MY FRIENDS

being able to chat with my friends reiziel & jaja (US) , zeena (dubai), and maico (pinas hehe) really made my week! not to mention- the ever present chef while im online @ baang coffee hahaha! whew! finally i found him!

5.WATCHED DVDs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without sleep, i still finished MY NAME IS EARL SEASON 1! i got addicted and i just had to finish all the episodes available hehe!now i just started the korean drama PRINCESS HOURS- i read it from Cindy's Blog (haberday!), ganda! WORK + DVDS = NO SLEEP!!!

5 places i want to visit RIGHT NOW

2006-08-25T14:22:00.000+04:00

if i own a plane, billions of dollars, and have the luxury to travel to anywhere in the world right now, il'll travel to these 5 places.

DREAM SEQUENCE #1
PARIS. self explainatory

DREAM SEQUENCE #2
USA. I'll go first to wasco CA to visit my dad and then go shopping in New York. Life!

DREAM SEQUENCE #3
DUBAI. My twin sister and my bestfriend are there so its worth a visit right hehe :p

DREAM SEQUENCE #4
DISNEYLAND. Eversince i was a kid, i always dreamt of meeting Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

DREAM SEQUENCE #5
PALAWAN. Since i have a billion dollars and a plane to my name, i guess i'll hire richard gutierrez and whisk him off to amanpulo, haha!

Go on jel, dream on!

of burnt establishments and juday-piolo cryfests

2006-08-25T13:42:00.000+04:00

when we were already so hooked on modern technology, editing videos, youtube-ing them and sending them all over the world, our 'virgin techie' friend zeena is still discovering the power of powerpoint presentations! love you zeens!:) sobrang sweet talaga, sana lang may kasamang pasalubong yung thank you mo pag uwi mo haha! :)

she mentioned a place we used to go to when we just want unadulterated, pure, wholesome fun ;), and then i just remembered that we forgot to tell her that the place burned down already! haaay! mother lye is actually worried about the "employees"... 'nasaan na kaya sila ngayon?'
oh well i guess we just have to find a new one when zeens gets back :)

im now waiting for bridge and elaine so that we could start brainstorming our soap project , which would be checked on sunday by ecs. after the jamming session, we plan to eat out and be merry but not until we finish watching the final episode-no commercial breaks of SA PILING MO-the teleserye hit that keeps our ratings up (thank God for juday and piolo!).
i just hope that the replacements on monday will also be followed by televiewers, that's Pinoy Dream Academy and Super Inggo---> which is the brainchild of Mother Lye! :D after all the sleepless nights, im praying that all of your work will pay off andSuper Inggo will fly the highest in the ratings game :)

But still, i'll surely miss jennifer and adrian (juday-piolo)

...dahil ikaw ang sigaw ng puso ko
ikaw ang nasa isip ko
ang nais ko ay malaman mo
na ikaw ang tanging pangarap ng buhay
pag-ibig ko sa iyo ibibigay nais ko ay malaman mo
na mahal kita...

by adrian, Sa Piling Mo

and another one!

2006-08-23T11:45:00.000+04:00

i made a new blog :) but 'drink diva' will still be my main blog.
plese check it out: http://www.jelsfivethings.blogspot.com

my five!

2006-08-22T15:41:00.001+04:00

this blog is all about any five things i feel like writing about :)
food, clothes, movies, tv, people, music, books, places, etcetera, anything at all! so read on and be updated!

Five things i'm looking forward to...

2006-08-22T15:41:00.000+04:00

1. Watch The Devil Wears Prada

I've been trying to finish the book version for two weeks now but i can't seem to find the time and the concentration to do so. Now i'm itching to just watch the film and get it over with. i heard that the movie's parade of fabulous outfits is worth the p12o pesos i'll probably shell out @ eastwood.

2. Finally finish VERONICA MARS season 2

i got the season 2 dvd @ quiapo 2 weeks ago but i don't have a player so i cant watch it! ugh! my dvd player is bummed and im not buying a computer until next week...sigh... sad face :(

3. Get a laptop to be able to surf @ baang coffee

i miss friendster, myspace, zorpia, ym , and the other restricted websites at the office. i just want to surf away , drink my new fave drink @ Baang (lemon iced tea hehe) and go sightseeing... which leads me to my next entry...

4. See my crush at baang coffee who looks exactly like wentworth miller

promise! if u have time, drop by Baang @ tomas morato and check out the chef, he's there at around 12 midnight and later (sometimes his shift changes though), and when u see him, you'll probably want to drink more coffee, or in my case, iced tea!

5. Borrow a 3g phone to download the mobisoap

ive been a part of an exciting project recently, writing the first ever mobile soap opera in the philippines. It was launched (finally!) yesterday but i cant download (or stream)it coz my cellphone's not 3g! oh well, for those of u who have 3g phones, check it out... available in the philippines- text WAIT to 2366!

haberday!

2006-08-21T18:10:00.000+04:00

FAST FORWARD TO AUGUST 21, 2007

2006-08-18T16:28:00.000+04:00

this post is solely dedicated to my most lovable, most extraordinary, most tiltillating, most exciting, most gorgeous, most explosive, most talented, most gullible to believe all this (hehe jke lang!), bestest fwend in the whole planet! tantantarrraaaaaan.............................

happy berday

Zeena Celine Zalamea!

cold

2006-08-01T20:27:00.000+04:00

sinisipon ako!
i hate it!
runny,red,scratchy nose! ugghhhhh!
maybe i got it from the weather-- nagpapaulan kasi ako sy*t!
o baka naman sa alikabok sy*t another! grrrrr!
i wanna be sickk and rest pero may meetings pa bukas... haaaaay!
at least we were able to move na, happy house.will buy a bed on thurs! dapat na sy*t!

moving out

2006-07-25T08:37:00.000+04:00

mahirap
madugo
magastos
masakit sa ulo
nakakastress

yes indeed, lipat bahay is one of the most stressful things in life!

drink divaaaahs

2006-07-12T20:33:00.000+04:00

got these pics krom ken :)

game over!

drink divas!

if i really wanted to be happy i would...

2006-07-10T14:43:00.001+04:00

yesterday, i arrived early at our apartment (from pampanga).. no one was there but glenda, who was asleep at the other room.. i had nothing to do but watch TV. i watched Lovespell starring kim and gerald, then The Buzz (Kris aquino's green dress was fab!), then goin bulilit... after that i was so tired of almost 5 hours of tv that i decided to go out and do some grocery shopping. i went to the supermarket to buy some toiletries and i had to occassionally stop myself from buying chocolates, chips, cheese and other fattening foods.. after i paid my purchases, i checked my phone and saw that i only spent 15 minutes shopping... i wanted to kill some more time so i went inside national bookstore to look for things to buy, (no im not made of money, i was just so bored)

national was filled with lots of kids and parents arguing over school supplies, adolescents giggling about and debating wheter to buy the latest totalgirl mag or the local gossip rag with iwa moto on the cover, or just plain solo shoppers like me who are in search of a good read.
i went up to the second floor and started my hunt, and then spent the next 45 minutes browsing through the book racks.. and here's what ive discovered:

1. im so outdated! i dont recognize half the titles in the bestseller's list!
2.there are really great books at very cheap prizes! 150-300php.
3. national bookstore has a Previously Owned Book section P.O.B. (yup i just found out)
4. only a small small section is devoted to filipino authors (minus the precious hearts romances type-the space will amount to molecular!)
5. packaging is everything! books with the most atttention grabbing covers and titles are those often scanned by customers.
6. i want to own my own National Bookstore! hehe!'

and after the grocery shopping and familiarizing myself with every nook and corner of NBstore, i came home with these purchases!

1. Tw7sted by jessica Zafra- her 7th installment to the twisted series.
2.When Chic Hits The Fan by kitty go - a fictionalized take on manila's "in" society
3. archie gals n pals double digest
4. if i really wanted to be happy i would...- this is a little inspirational book- haha! very unlike me? i just wanted to read more bible verses etcetera,but i wanted something contemporary, it's designed to be read daily- one page a day- (yep ver like OurDaily Bread-only newer)
5. 1 meter of plastic book cover
6. scotch tape
7.cotton pads
8. cotton buds
9.cream silk conditioner
10.j&j baby bath soap
11.ivory shampoo
12.sanitary napkins
13. 1.5 liters of absolute bottled water
14.super half andoks lechon manok

whew! and yes, if i really wanted to be happy i would do more shopping :)

i wanna

2006-07-06T20:57:00.000+04:00

*finish my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Re-marathon!
*finish reading the latest romance novel i borrowed from glenda
*get the 5k worth of l'oreal goodies i won from a mag
*go to beach
*have a strawberry-mango shake @ baang and see the chef ;) (so predictable!)
*drink buko juice
*see my mom
*impulse-shop (huh?!?)
*go back to the gym , shish.
*get more healthy sleep
*smile more
*be excited to work.lazy me.
*watch superman at imax
*eat salad
*buy sitti's album
*get my laundry
*go home.. im now going to.
huh.

oasis-ed

2006-07-03T10:01:00.000+04:00

Stand by Me

Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday

I've - Gotta lot of things to learn

Said I would and I'll be leaving one day - Before my heart starts to burn
So what's the matter with you?

Sing me something new... don't you know

The cold and wind and rain don't know

They only seem to come and go away
Times are hard when things have got no meaning

I've found a key upon the floor

Maybe you and I will not believe in the things we find

Behind the door
Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be

Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be

Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be
If you're leaving will you take me with you

I'm tired of talking on my phone

There is one thing I can never give you

My heart can never be your home

madame-ME

2006-06-30T18:37:00.000+04:00

12 days. 12 long days. 12 long days of nothing.
i didnt care coz i had a bigger worry these past 12 days.
i didnt want to hear anything that will remind me of...

in the midst of busy schedules, pressure from work, added pressure from friends,
i had this inner struggle i kept to myself.
countless of times, i just wanted to give up and just sleep and forget about everything.
But sleep did not come easy, my mind wanted to drift and worry some more.
if you count the total number hours i spent sleeping for the past 12 days, i bet you'll be shocked and you'll ask me if i'm crazy.

But of course, most of the time, i had to be my normal self, i had to project that everything is indeed fine.
But there are times when i just feel tired of pretending.
the cliche applies- i'm surrounded by a lot of people yet they do not know that i'm really alone.
maybe this is the reason why simple clashes with people affects me so much. i get hurt so much
i feel that hey, i don't deserve this right now.
will someone-- just anyone-- give me a break..?
i need to unload this, i need to be okay, honestly i don't know what to do..
i just wanna relax, i just wanna BE. no worries, no apprehensions. no anything-but being.

now after 12 days, i have the answer that i've been waiting for. maybe this time i'll start to be fine again since i need not worry anymore.
and then this.. as if on cue, there it is again- a little sign to remind me...
as if saying ' hey i'm still here'... if i got that before the 12th day maybe i won't mind coz in the first place, i repeat, i definely didnt want to hear anything from or about...
so i am just so amazed at the perfect timing, that it had to show up now, now that evrything is clear..it's as if destiny is playing mind games with me.
or maybe i'm right. i'm just psychic.

----

p/s/ ive been to baang coffee twice this week and the chef was not present! huhu! i wished we were at least introduced before he disappeared into thin air! hay!

thinking in pictures...

2006-06-27T00:25:00.000+04:00

'spiced gurls'

'i miss my -baang coffee- chef...'

'mano-o-mano'

'will pacquiao win..?'

'there's papa in wasco, california'

'when will i get my laptop?'

'bring me back to bora..'

make me smile

2006-06-09T15:57:00.000+04:00

yep as ive said, the past few days were not so good for me, but here are some people who made these days a little brighter.. thanks guys..mwah!

maemae! we've been together for the past few days for almost forever hehe! hmmm, cguro its because of ""common" interests din, chef!

knollsyknolls! i missed her sooo much! i was glad we were able to catch up and have dinner :)

jpmelo! its always refreshing to talk to jp, he has a totally different point of view, nakaka-ewan hehe! and i have to mention that his guy instincts are really close to accurate!

jencarps and onin! hehe these two people are so crazy that i can't help but laugh when i'm with the them! jen "abandoned" her shift to have desperate coffee with me, and onin- while a day late- was still fun when i saw him.

summer around the philippines

2006-06-07T19:28:00.000+04:00

The day it all VIGAN ...

i looove vigan! we went to so many churches and saw a lot of old things..the trip was so long pero worth it, was able to bond with new people, i learned a lot also tsaka kahit haggard work , fun fun fun!

lens, me and inaantok na ata si tonie hehe!

CAYLABNE where art thou? CAVITE!

i've been here twice this summer! where the heck is caylabne? well do u remember sharon cuneta's globe commercial where she is on top of an overlooking cliff? that's caylabne, very sosyal lang at kruhal haha, buti na lang libre!

CAYLABNE another with ocama!

HUNDRED ISLANDS hundred hundred miles away!

it was another long drive to pangasinan to get to hundred islands--The beach was okay but i didnt like it that much coz it (quezon island) was small at dami tao. okay lang din pero we weren't really able to island hop eh. so i wasnt able to see a hundred ehehe!

loooong drive!

with lenners!

LINGAYEN pangasinan up close!

this is the first time SP earl joined us for beachbums, at nasiraan ba naman kame, nyek! pero okay naman masaya kase pista y dayat pero sobra init!! the beach was very fine dito--tonie's fave.

its so SUBIC!

i cant seem to find my subic pix! oh well here's one with hansen.. im sure you've seen subic so keri na ang close up ulit hehe!

BORA SUNSET

bora bora bora... BORA HOLYWEEK is my first non-work related getaway this summer... sigh! this is the life!

partying on holy saturday!--my last night in bora with samaskom friends--diona and nomer

FAST FORWARD TO MAY 2006---who wouldve thought i'd be back in bora in less than a month! due to flight unavailability im back! pero sobrang di naman ako naka swim kase wala na time! pero we were able to par-teh!

here's the gang!--este the crew pala hehe! mayor the camera genius, drew the beachbum to the rescue, pink & perky beachbum dianne, ME, and Super SP Earl

BATANGAS Bonding...

since eto ang pinakamalapit na beach sa manila, i've been here for lotsa times this summer... hmmm ilan ba? tatlo, apat? tatlo lang pala hehe..
MATABUNGKAY , PIER UNO, CALATAGAN

i got this pic lay-out below from earl's blog haha! magnakaw ba ng pic! anyway thats matabungkay for you!

i took this picture of maris in a balsa--dito sa same balsa nito ako nahulog hahaha! whats new? clumsy me!

FRANKS AND BURGERS!!! one of the funniest moments in beachbum 2006 history ay ang Franks and Burgers kain namin after Pier Uno Shoot! haha, the store bantay-slash-cook-slash cashier (see below:guy/girl*we're not sure actually* in black shirt) was na-ngarag because of our many orders! he/she was burning everything, the burgers, the pizzitas, the plastics, name it! hehehe!

FabulouZZZZZAMBALEZZZZzzz!

i've been to zambales twice this summer (not counting subic) first is in CRYSTAL BEACH in san narciso zambales then at the mango festival at IBA ZAMBALES. here's a pic with amgirl christine!

awit na nananawagan, baka sakaling mapakikinggan...! here's reymond, eri, and ac belting it out in zambales!

CEBU- B!

for the grand finals, i was assigned to the cebu-bohol leg. first stop is plantation bay in cebu. sobrang ganda kaya lang everything was so expensive we went hungry during the shoot. no x-deals here kaya kahit anong parinig namin sa GM deadma haha!

nope hindi mahangin sa labas, magulo lang talaga hair ko!

BOHOL BAYBEH!

one regret: not being able to see tarsiers! pero opks lang coz the beaches were wonderful. wasnt able to swim though :) but its a perfect honeymoon option several years from now, promise!

below is me @ ananyana beach resort- one of the most exclusive resorts in the country and in asia.

pa-cute lang at Alona beach

my favorite pic! i believe that this is one of the nicest pics ive taken this summer! mag photographer na lang kaya ako?

oooooOOOHHHH....PUERTO GALERA!

my first puerto galera this summer is still for work, overnight lang so not so much swimming, or anything..we just *chilled* after the shoot, drank a couple of pitchers of mindoro sling, windowshopped, etc.etc.

this is me and elaineplim in gagagalera!

that's maris getting a henna from IVAN TATTOO , free syempre!

busog na si drew! clean clean clean your plate!

my bday weekend! yahoo!

my last beach getaway this summer in puerto galera. extra special coz it was my bday weekend!

chillax lang! the best part of it? no work!

bad day-s

2006-06-06T09:39:00.000+04:00

the past couple of days have been a series of disappointments. one of my closest friends stood me up when we were supposed to go home to pampanga together, he just conveniently ran out of cellphone battery and didnt even text me later to apologize.. i had to check up on him coz i was beginning to get worried-- and that was the only time he replied.
I went out for coffee sautrday night and for the first time-- i was early, but then my friends came an hour late--making me look stupid, sitting there waiting for just anyone to come..
i was supposed to meet my office friends sunday night--my mom asked me to stay at home and just come back to manila by monday morning but i was so hardheaded that i still told her that no--i'll take the trip sunday afternoon, thank you. i texted my friends --no reply. i called some--no one answered.
i didnt want to think about these disappointments... i took it all in stride-- i even looked at the sunday night no-show a blessing coz i was able to have dinner with knolls-my housemate, buddy and one of my dearest dearest friends-- and we were able to catch up.
monday--i was my usual perky, moody self. i was a bit excited coz i have this new crush ehe, he's a chef from this coffee shop we frequent (he looks like wentworth miller from prison break).
anyway, i was supposed to meet another friend that monday night but turns out he could not make it coz his bro's girlfriend is late for the family dinner so he could not get out of the house until she comes.
well i understood, it was sad that i wasnt able to see him and catch up on whats happening with him and his loving boyfriend but oh well..
then i saw one of my bestest friends blog and i was not even mentioned in the best times blah blah--pretty shallow but its something i dont need to see at this point.
i still told myself not to mind it... im not dwelling on these "little" things... our presentation was cancelled that night so we could get off work early... so i gleefully asked a couple of friends for coffeee.. i psyched myself that hey! everything's fine. But it was the last straw i guess coz i was faced with no thanks,excuses, tiredness, and what have yous... hah it may look like i dont have anything better to do with my time but excuse moi-- busy spells J-E-L and thats me... sigh... maybe i just want some time spent with friends, i just dont want to feel alone right now... maybe thats the reason when one office friend was complaining that she's hungry-- i eagerly volunteered to eat with her even if ive eaten already,..i finished my script then while waiting, i went to the washroom for a while and accompanied my friend jp for a smoke and chitchat, and then found out that she bought food already.
i don't blame them... maybe i just have this illussion that im surrounded with so much friends when in fact i just can't face up to the truth that im not really that fabulous to be with. i was just suddenly afraid that what if im suddnly into this freak emergency, will they also not respond..? i suddenly missed my old friends.
i finally thought of jencarps--i dragged her from the middle of her shift and i was just so relieved that theres still someone in my world who's willing to drop even an hour of work just to be with me.. thanks jen- my perfect stalking partner.
now i think i know what i need-- time alone... shit.

some random answers

2006-06-03T13:34:00.000+04:00

Does your name have an 'A'?
SINCE CRAZY IS MY MIDDLE NAME, YES!

Two of your dominant feelings at the moment?
CONTENTED, OKAY

what are you listening to right now?
IM WATCHING LETS GO

Part of song lyric that's in your mind rightnow?
LARAWANG KUPAS...?HEHE

Describe where you are right now?
GLAIZAS BEDROOM

What is your best day of the week?
FRIDAY! TGIF!

What are you craving to have right now?
CHICHARON

Best memory in childhood?
PBA GAMES

Worst memory in childhood?
LOSING MY TWO FRONT TEETH

What are your nicknames?
JEL, JELJEL, KAMBAL

Your three plans for tomorrow?
GO BACK TO MANILA, WORK, GO OUT

Your three plans for today?
EAT, SLEEP, GO OUT

Are you thinking of someone right now?
I AM TRYING NOT TO

Do you party?
A MUCH AS MY SKED ALLOWS ME TO

Do you like twins?
I AM ONE, SO ALL OF YOU BETTERANSWER YES

Fill in the blank: I am __.
OKAY....REALLY!

Mary has her little lamb. What do youhave?
MY STUBBORN PRIDE

Say anything to whoever is reading youranswers?
HEY THERE TEXT ME AND LETS HAVECOFFEE! MISS U ALL!

What do you drink?
GULARHUM! I MISS IT!

Are you in love?
HAY!

What kind of girl / boy do you like?
MOODY, INCONSISTENT, MA-PRIDE, PACUTE MINSAN,CHICKBOY, TAHIMIK, PEROSWEET PAG FEEL NYA.. HAHA I WISH I WASKIDDING! :)

nice one

2006-05-29T12:18:00.000+04:00

i totally love this quote! forwarded by hermie- thanks herms!

can i live without u?

yes.

just as the sea can live without mermaids...

the forest without fairies...

the sky without unicorns...

i can

but then,

the magic would be all gone...

BIRTHDAY BLUES

2006-05-25T20:47:00.000+04:00

my birthday is coming up... its on monday na, sa may 29, fyi lang for those na hindi alam (grrr!) ayan ha spoonfeeding na to.

i should be hapy, i should be celebrating, pero i feel so stressed, hurt, disappointed, ignored, ah basta!

haaay... sana there's something to look forward to na lang...sigh sigh sigh!

back to the old routine

2006-05-16T22:23:00.000+04:00

i went out with some former officemates now rockband hotshots (whoa!)- dan & bheng and present ones too- bridge, lainee, x, lens, last monday night. we had a videokenight out just like old times. we stayed up until te wee hours and even went to x's place to watch dvd. we put on, ITS ALL GONE PETE TONG - a mockumentary about a deaf dj. the film was absurd, weird, funny, but i can say that it was a good watch.

i was able to go home at past 6 in the morning tuesday then i went straight to sleep., woke up at around 1pm, went to the gym for my movie workout (that's running,biking while watching whatever's on at fitness first), as usual i'm more interested in finishing the film than shedding calories, on my way out i saw a college classmate there too-i learned that she's now taking up law in ust .

then i went to the office, met wit my EP, discussed some script problems, helped rhody with her crs sked, ate lunch at 5pm, attended the team heads meeting, met with my groupmates, had dinner with bridge,nix,david, and liam.. then went to Janero Bar to avail of the 3 for 100 Smirnoff Ice (haha cheap!) -- thats with the same people and also with tonie, x, rhody, jefp, and ton.

it's already wednesday, i think its about 3am and i'm back in the office waiting for lenni-my new roommate after my sister jen left.-- to finish her work so we could share a cab home.

now that i think about the past couple of days-- i realized that, hey i'm back to my old routine-- drink hard, work hard, party hard. i was unable to do so these past months (summer) because of work overload and out of town shoots. in a way, the feeling of nostalgia overwhelms me. i so miss the old times, old friends, old everything.. but im happy that life is moving on, new things are coming my way to make me grow and learn...haaay... ang baduy haha!

but i know that all these deja vu feeling will last until TODAY only coz i'll be back to my haggard self these next few days-- up until the 24th pa!..oh well i have things to look forward to naman --we're planning to hit the beach to end the summer on may 27-28 and i'm celebrating my bday on may 29!!!! so for those who want to send in their gifts in advance--ur welcome to give me a call so i could tell u how, haha!

tired of tears

2006-05-07T23:22:00.000+04:00

im loving this!

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that Im alone
Cus right now it says that we
Can’t come to the phone.
And I know it makes no sense
Cus you walked out the door
But it’s the only way I hear your voice any more
Its ridiculous
It’s been months
For some reason
I just can’t get over us
And Im stronger than this
Enough is enough
No more walkin' round wit my head down
Im so over being blue
Crying over you
And im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done wit wishing you were still here
Said Im so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calendar I had
Thats marked July 15th
Because if there’s no more you
There’s no more anniversary
Im so sad up wit my thoughts of you
And your memory
And now every song reminds me of what used to be
And that’s the reason
Im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done wit wishing you were still here
Said Im so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?
Ooohh
Leave me alone
Stupid love songs
Don’t make me think about her smile
Bout having my first child
Im letting go
Turning off the radio
Cus Im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done wit wishing she was still here
Said Im so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?

under the bora sun

2006-04-30T18:10:00.000+04:00

a happy picture

another one...

sunset shot

galit?

caught off guard hehe...

real no more

2006-04-30T16:55:00.000+04:00

http://www.tristancafe.com/music/flash/makeitreal.html

Tonight it's been a year
we met each other here
Here I am all alone
as thoughts of you go on
Hear me cryin' out to you
you said, "Never, never would I leave"
Here's a tear from me to you
and maybe it will make you hear me

I loved you
You didn't feel the same
Though we're apart
You're in my heart
Give me one more chance to
Make it real
In a dream you are here
You smile and hold me nearA
nd in my heart I'll pretend
that you are here again

Hear me cryin' out to you
You said, "Never, never would I leave"
Here's a tear from me to you
and maybe it will make you hear me

I loved you
You didn't feel the same
Though we're apartYou're in my heart
Give me one more chance to
Make it real
Give me one more chance to
Make it real

nagmamahal kapamilya na

2006-04-11T20:48:00.000+04:00

On april 18, nagmamahal kapamilya will finally be aired, after primetime bida on channel 2.

i have worked on this concept/show/lifestyle for almost/more than/around 9 months, its almost like carrying a baby, and now it will finally air... i remember the early days when we had to meet with different directors, brainstormers, etcetera, etctera just to get the concept approved, and now, its actually a reality!

kaya watch na, again, its on april 18, tuesday! after primetime bida on abs-cbn

the day it all vigan...

2006-03-30T22:24:00.000+04:00

just got back from vigan and pangasinan.. 3 whole days of shooting...
i knew it would be haggard when i decided that we accept beach bum project but i took it as a challenge, i dont really care if i fail, as long as i tried to at least make it work..
as much as i want to make kwento.. ill just post my current state of mind.. blah blah blah...

0. COLOUR OF YOUR SOCKS TODAY?none, jusst my tanned dark daRK DARK FEET
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?with 7 housemates-- and lenzkie as my new roomie
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?he's just not into you-- ebook from lainee
3. WHATS ON YOUR MOUSE MAT?dont hve one
4. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?mad
5. FAVOURITE WEBSITE?jelgueco.blogspotebay
6a. FAVOURITE SMELLS?cocobutter, sweet temptation -victorias secret
6b. LEAST FAVOURITE SMELL?newly cut grass! weirdly i get allergies from the smell! sinisipon agad
7a. FAVOURITE SOUND?the beach
7b. FAVOURITE SONGS?dont 4get abt uscheck on it
8.a WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?nobody caring
8.b BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?having lots of real friends around
9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OFWHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?am i late for something?
10. FAVOURITE COLOUR?red, orange, pink
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWERTHE PHONE?depends on who's calling
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?venice
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?feeling fulfilled
14. FAVOURITE FOODS?sinigang, pasta
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?chocolate anytime!
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?no, i cant
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?no
18. STORMS COOL OR SCARY?scary hehe
19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?dont have one
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEADOR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?ngayon siguro, i'd go for bill gates or ashton kutcher
21. LEAST FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?brandy?
22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?gemini
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?when im hungry enough
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOUWANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?id be a millionaire's daughter and just make chocolates and put up events for charity :) life!
25.IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANYCOLOUR?pink!
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?not really sure
27. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALFEMPTY?
half full
28. FAVOURITE MOVIES?she's the man hehe, dami gwapo
29. FINGER ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
30. ANYTHING UNDER YOUR BED?no wala na, nilinis na!
31. FAVOURITE NUMBER(s),8
32. FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH?billiards, basketball, tennis-- basta watch lang hehe
33. APPARENTLY, SHOES SAY A LOT ABOUTA PERSON. WHAT ARE YOUR SHOESLIKE?happy feet! does that count
34. MARILYN MANSON OR DESTINYS CHILD?beyonce!
36. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF: A. LADY MEN?gay ones? theyre happy people!
B.MASCULINE WOMEN?ok lang
37. PRETEND THAT THERE IS A QUESTIONHERE, NOW ANSWER IT?id rather not :0
38. EVER HAD PET SEA-MONKEYS?i dont even know what those are
39. WHAT EYE COLOR DO YOU GO FOR IN AGUY/GIRL?do i have a choice in this country?
41. STRENGTH IN BODY OR STRENGTH INMIND?mind
42. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY SUPER POWER,WHAT SUPER POWER WOULD YOUHAVE?teleportation
43. LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?completely ni christian bautista, wehehe
44. FAVOURITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?microwave and ref
45. IF YOU HAD A TATTOO, WHAT WOULD ITBE?a star
46. THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO POSTEDTHIS?zinzin? i miss her!
47. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY RIGHT NOW,AT THIS MOMENT?can i sleep now?

march-ing on...

2006-03-13T08:20:00.000+04:00

i got a free sticker from taco bell last saturday just by dropping my sister's business card which is now invalid coz she's currently a bum.

i was sticking it on my starbucks planner when i realized that i wsnt able to put in any entry at the P2,000 holiday-starbucks-coffee worth planner for almost a week. i havent been updating my blog for almost the same amount of time..my email keeps on piling up... and im dirt poor!

but looking back i can say that ive been busy, im trying to do things NOW.. not just work work as in office work, but im laying on concrete DOABLE-NOW plans for myself.

im now organizing my very first PAID event-- its a CEU DENTISTRY grad party.. since its technically my first time to organize an event that size (120-150 people), i had to make an extra effort to make calls and build contacts, i had to propose a budget that would be great for everyone. and i learned to go to RECTO by myself ( after hermie's instructions) and argue with inefficient printer peolple, etcetera. since im really loaded at work , i had to wake up extra extra early to be able to go to manila and face the traffic, pollution, etc..

**funny lang**

*i have no idea where CEU dentistry is located before this party was organized, i had to literally beg a friend to accompany me so i wont get lost (thanks hermie!)

*the day i accepted the events job, my wisdom tooth hurt like hell, so when i went to CEU , i got free checkups hehe :)

ill update u abt the event soon, wish me luck, sana things will all be fine

I AM COMING UP WITH A SHORT FILM... hehe syempre i'm not alone in this, ill be coproducing it with bridge and nix. its just something that we felt we had to do. low budget lang pero we feel na may promise. bridge wrote, revised, and finished the script, danica is our actreess ( were still finding the perfect cos2me for her) and ill handle the camera and editing...
haaay sana exciting :)

MY CHOCOLATE BUSINESS IS REALLY A BUSINESS NA! i have a lot (as in a lot na for a solo maker like me) of orders for my chocolates! my highschool friends are all getting a couple of boxes each, basta madami.. but i dont really have the time pa to make all those so i told them i'll just text them when the chocolates are done wehehe..! haaay,how i wish that im fuckin' rich that i can just lay back and make chocolates na lang to sell to amigas and celebrity weddings and not use my mind to earn.. yuck ang tamad hehe..

oh anyway , those are just my extra curr activities for the past couple of weeks ( o zeens ayan ha updated na!:) ill try to blog more regularly!

NEW MOTTO: DO IT NOW!

weekend whew

2006-02-26T14:56:00.000+04:00

friday night going on saturday

while everyone is panicking because of the kudeta attempts...We (my cdg groupmates and friends) went to baguio for a much deserved break. Sunny rose took care of the accomodations and for the rest it was KKB (and thats why im so broke as of press time). we arrived @ the city of pines at around 3 am saturday morning.. we then went straight to the hotel then went to eat at a 24 hr place at session road. we then took a walk around burnham pero syempre nothing really to see coz what would u expect at 3 am ryt? but it was nice coz super ang ginaw :) at around 5 am saturday, we went back to the hotel then took a nap b4 going to the panagbenga parade at 8 am.

SAturday morning

it was 7: 30 and my phone alarm was ringing in the tone of MY HUMPS. Lye was standing up on a chair near the window ( with yosi of course) dancing to the ringtone while everyone except me ignored the ring alarm. i got up then took a bath, while lye took photos of our sleeping friends. After i finished, it was Lye's turn to freshen up, after that, the 2 of us left our sleeping friends and went to watch the panagbenga parade. The first float we saw was the Pinoy Big Brother Float and the housemates( say, sam milby, rico, franzen, jb, etc) were there waving to the cheering crowd.. we cant help but laugh sarcastically that we went to Baguio just to watch artistas we see at the ABS studios everyday :) the other floats in the panagbenga were really "Bengga" (pa-witty!) but the others were parang medyo lousy , pero okay lang kasi it was our first time to see the parade so fun naman, with the pic taking and all that. It tok us around 5 relocations to really find the semi perfect spot for the photo-ops..

We met with the others at burnham, then we ate at a mongolian place i suggested (my family eats there whenever we go to baguio).. we had a hard time finding the place -- O MAI KHAN-- coz of my inability to remember directions hehe.. then we went to sm to deposit our things coz we had to check out na.. mines view was our next stop, picture taking pa rin syempre-- me and the pINKS ( lye, bridge and elaine) syempre kulang si zeena coz first out of town ko yata without her! will send her the pictures though or photoshop na lang her face hehe :)

after we went to good shepherd then palengke for the ukay! ( another zinzin thought here) ukay there is expensive, mas mura pa sa cubao so di kame masyado solved, but i was able to buy a big big violet bag for 180 and a silk scarf for 20 pesos so okay na rin.. my money was spent talaga on the cardigans my mom asked me to buy, i bought 5!! so that was a thousand pesos na , hay naku -- at least she told me she'll pay for those hehe :0

we then had dinner at SM then went home na.. it was yes bitin , parang mahaba pa ang bus ride kesa sa baguio namin but ok narin kasi refreshing pa rin, instead of being stuck lang palagi sa manila.. haaay, cant wait for the next out of town, sana masundan :)

bye bye na

2006-02-13T21:30:00.000+04:00

last christmas season, my twin sister told us all that she really is going to dubai in march and start her "lucrative" banking career there. of course, i was excited for her. i was already thinking of the pasalubongs, etc.etc..

My papa's flight to the US is today, feb 14. he's going there before his visa expires, and also to find work so the pamasahe is not that sayang, the valentine airfare rate is a lot discounted so they thought to take it nalang.. i just learned that yesterday so i was pretty surprised and until now, it's not still sinking in...

one of my bestest friends is leaving next week (tentative), she is also going to dubai to find work, so it is indefinite when she'll be returning..

all of a sudden, core pieces of my comfortable world will be missing soon.

jen and i have been together forever(literally).. we haven't been separated for more than a month or so, my twin is a constant in my life na alam kong andyan lang whatever happens..

papa, i will definitely miss the lambing utos, the dinners and breakfast that you personally prepare whenever we come home to angeles.. making sure that the aircon is on and that we wake up early on sundays, the tampuhans, the tokwat baboy and when we tell mama that she's getting fat, hehe.. i will definitely miss the pag aasikaso and everything..love you papa :')

zeens and i met in 2001, its now 2006 and we're still together, we see each other almost everyday.. classmates, groupmates, orgmates, thesis partners, officemates- (rmh & abs), substitute dates, best friends. weve been through a lot of things na, good and bad times, fun and not.. magkasama pa rin kame, sa ka cheapan at kapasosyalan, :) almost everyone in our current social sphere looks for zeena when they see me or vice versa.. we definitely "grew up" and matured together...

now just the thought of these 3 important people missing in my life gives me this unimaginable feeling of fear/loss/deppression/ ewankona kung ano... pero im also excited and happy for them :)

i know that in a couple of months i'll get the chance to follow jen and zeens, but it's not yet that definite.. oh well who knows.. i may be the one leaving soon ;)

in sickness and in love...

2006-02-05T15:54:00.000+04:00

i've been coughing and sneezing all throughout last week AND i was not able to take any day off because of loads of meetings! come thursday and friday i was so weak that i was sleeping every free time i get at the office floor. being sick is such an annoying inconvenience-- drinking medicines, hoarding tissues, sleepless cough marathons!!!! ugh!

now im slighly well, at least i'm not that noisy anymore, i feel a little okay but not enough to get back to the gym.. oh well...

as i am writing this. the trailer for the new bea-john lloyd movie featuring sam milby is playing.. reminds me that valentines day is next week na.. haaayy... yun na. no comment hehe. (ah yeah, this is the "in love" part of the title- wag na maghanap hehe)

some pics..

2006-02-01T16:54:00.000+04:00

ok fine whatever..!

with christian

www.googlism.com: try it!

2006-01-30T11:48:00.001+04:00

thanks bridge for the site!~
Googlism for: jel
jel is funky but hunky
jel is the library for evaluating a simple single line expressions in java
jel is designed to evaluate expressions
jel is a hunk
jel is the electronic web edition of the journal of economic literature
jel is free to individual members who subscribe to jel
jel is an antiseptic
jel is a modified food starch product
jel is a water based
jel is an environmentally safe
jel is the same formulation as regular neutro
jel is research but it also includes education
jel is the answer
jel is a chemically modified corn starch that produces excellent sauce consistency even after fillings are canned and baked
jel is kicking butts and taking names across the state anne mathey tearful youths hold up photos of loved ones lost to smoking
jel is the fact that it is a compiler
jel is due to the fact that there are "hits" all over this record
jel is fast to take down the celebrating vibe on "grass skirt & fruit hat"
jel is a library
jel is the result of five life
jel is like taking part in an adventure where all can happen
jel is a quarterly for philosophy and the arts
jel is the first among the hungarian cultural periodicals to be read on computer network and thus accessible
jel is "just eliminate lies" from big tobacco
jel is funded by the state of iowa from the tobacco settlement fund
jel is very good at what he does
jel is great about listening to what we want and giving us several options for
jel is a statewide youth movement targeting tobacco use
jel is a high
jel is shared by two offices
jel is very suitable for evaluating such dynamic boolean constraints
jel is solely available to qualified stunt professionals
jel is the drum machine's premiere musician
jel is betu
jel is approved by the following standards/organisations
jel is a unique multi
jel is distributed under the gpl
jel is one of 9 suriving lords of evil in my realm
jel is a periodical for philosophy and the arts
jel is forecast to generate revenue of $86
jel is szétszedheto összetevoire
jel is made from sodium alginate which comes from kelp
jel is not one of preaching or bashing those who smoke
jel is looking to fill several teaching positions
jel is a member of cije
jel is the electronic web edition of jel
jel is the samplin' fiend behind anticon
jel is helping to rewrite the hiphop rulebook
jel is a shortened form of my last name
jel is bio
jel is water based
jel is
jel is not only the first taelon
jel is obviously talented
jel is a starch modified to produce excellent
jel is egybeírhatójel is a geniusjel is not on
jel is a standardized pectin powder designed to produce marmalades or jackets in the shortest time possible
jel is seeking a senior level network/systems engineer with expert knowledge of 2000
jel is given
jel is a bit of a
jel is a simple
jel is econlit which is available on digital library
jel is the electronic edition of the journal of economic literature
jel is also available and provides fast
jel is very clear and the color is very bright and crisp
jel is a starch modified to produce excellent sauce consistency even after fillings are canned and baked
jel is összetett
jel is classified as a vaginal therapeutic jelly
jel is an unusual java library
jel is honey that spreads like jelly
jel is proud to be associated with this prestigious project for the mechanical erection of the plant from the main contractor
jel is a shortened form of gelsi

never gone

2006-01-16T08:27:00.000+04:00

i'm declaring january 20--friday afternoon onwards--- a no-work day for me!!
i will be watching the NeverGone BSB concert with my twin, knolls and grace, and i'm really really excited! yay! tha't one reason why i'll leave work early, bahala na!

well if you're wondering, i'm not really a backstreet fan-- i don't know their latest songs (except for INCOMPLETE) and i own ONE album--MILLENIUM -- pirated pa.. and from the title, it's obvious that it was released about five years ago.But i really loved that album, it was a mature BSB crooning (not shouting) the songs...i've played it over and over and almost memorized the songs. but i'm not a fanatic. not like knolls, grace and my highschool classmate, Jaezelene Lanuza, who memorized all the songs, collect posters, splurge on CDs, were privy to every member's personal dilemmas, etcetera! during the BSB-boyband fever--i preferred listening to eheads, mariah carey or oasis - but like any other normal teenage girl, i can't help but hear the songs, see the videos and make BSB a part of my highschool conciousness.
Now i'm spending 500 pesos to be able to watch the concert and see the group (through the Video wall of course, what do i expect form a gen Ad ticket?) JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT!
i want to feel like im in highschool again, i want to feel the ka-cornihan and kabaduyan euphoria, i want to be in the middle of screaming teenage (?) hormones, i want to just have fun and laugh witrh friends, and 20 years from now, i want to look back and smile about the experience.

kissing a clown

2006-01-10T08:47:00.000+04:00

we celebrated danica's birthday last night by watching the latest judai/piolo movie at gateway. we girls were all twisted with "kilig"! we just can't get over piolo's hot-ness and the romantic "ka-cheap-an" of the whole thing! although the story was little (a little lang naman) predictable, what really made the movie was judai and piolo's acting and the dialogues. while we were watching, it seemed as if ryan agoncillo is nonexistent in the scheme of showbiz things, hehe. makes me forget also of the chismis about papa piolo's supposed sexuality **wink wink ;) **

we capped the night with a surprise for nix and that is a visit to EUROSTAR*** (a euphemism)!!
we had fun laughing and enjoying the rides! Every attraction was an exciting roller coaster ride of emotions talaga! it was nix's first time there so we couldn't help but feel happy for her hehe!And there are times of course when you don't really want to get on a certain ride because of a)fear b). embarrassment c).financial concerns (oh well hehe). But sometimes, i realized that you really can't avoid it, you just have to dump your well rehearsed reasons and be a part of the show. As the cliche goes, just enjoy the ride. well i did .. just a little hehe..

all my life ive waited for my prince to come
wating for that tender moment,
waiting for that special kiss
but sometimes, i get tired of waiting
sometimes i just hate the wait
so i tell myself, its okay to take a break
its okay to let loose
its okay to enjoy the ride
because yes, sometimes
there's nothing wrong with kissing a clown

is HE the ONE?

2006-01-08T13:39:00.000+04:00

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/565514876

CLICK ON THE LINK!!!!!!! fun TO PROMISE! HAPPY VALENTINES!

24plus4 reunion xmas party

2006-01-05T16:46:00.000+04:00

STUDIO PIC!sai, binx, anne, joi, khae, jen, teh, maico and me!!

fab four kuno: bato, teh, me and maico

POST ITS charades with me guessing!

another charades moment!

drunk na ata...

with khae, teh and sai :)

i was the 1 taking the pic!

erin, jp, joi, anne, maico

controversial couple of the night aheehe!

song repost for the new year

2006-01-03T09:06:00.000+04:00

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK
But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you
But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

after christmas

2005-12-29T12:52:00.000+04:00

inspired by carmen's list.. here's my own..
things i did, want to do and still have to do after christmas and before new year

went to SM pampanga with mama, jen and cousin
watched AKO LEGAL WIFE ( ang saya promise hehe!)
went back to the ABS to fix some work stuff and upload songs for zoe
gushed over x's new laptop
received another batch of xmas gifts-- a face stamp from ecs, dangling gold earrings from reiz, gold thong sandalas from obet & mai (pasalubong from macao)
went to greenhills to have dinner and watch enteng kabisote with x and rhody and zeens
went to esquenita then eastwood to drink with mae etc.
interviewed a batch of new applicants for cdg while trying to change my blogskin
discovered the power of bluetooth c/o jpmelo haha
went home to angeles with maico and then ate dinner at spencer's (na kulang kulang ang food sa menu )
watched SOCO
went to essel supermarket with mama for new year's eve groceries
now online to check my mail, friendster and update my blog
will go to my highschool barkada xmas party
will surely drink and have fun
will "concoct" a new hotcake recipe
will eat champorado
will fax letter to Universal Rec for Nagmamahal K.
will call Ms. Evelyn to follow up the letter
will call Rob Schneider's mom, still for Nagmamahal
will write my younger cousin's highschool paper
will change x's blogskin
will sleep and eat and be lazy
will shop at Angeles Tiangge
will finish reading 2 books
will schedule a night out with college roomies :)
will avoid new year paputok
will forget about "people"
will write on my new planner
will think of other more things to do... hmmm

MERRY XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-23T15:10:00.000+04:00

hay merry xmas! new blog skin again haha! love it! sorry magulo basta try to navigate it nalang ! luv u all! cu soon! mwah to all!

i have a new blogskin!

2005-12-14T15:44:00.000+04:00

i have a new blogskin!wow lang ang cheapangga at cliche at ang bith-yyy! haha! ito lang kase yung nakita ko na may blog title na lumalanbas at di mashado masakit sa mata! comment! comment!

blogging for kicks

2005-12-12T11:59:00.000+04:00

haha. im not. i realized hat i do blog not because i just want to or just because i dont have anything better to do with my time or maybe just---because. i realized that maybe i want to be heard or read or whatever.wala lang , sometimes getting my thoughts out in the open is very satisfying .. oh well..

so what do i write about today>>>?

a). PBB BIG NIGHT
congrats nene! it was fun even though the crowd at expo was really dry. i guess they were tired already from waiting coz they were at the arena since 6pm. sigh.

b). ANDREI's CHRISTENING
i attended my 8th inaanak's baptismal sunday morning and twas nice seeing old friends again. parang kelan lang prom ang big event nagyon binyag na! kelan kaya may mag aabay? ahehe!

c). GATEWAY SIGHTINGS
i met knolls last night @ gateway for dinner and movie. We were both so busy with work (and knolls with boylet) that we barely see each other even if we live in the same house! anyway, i had this feeling all evening that i'll see someone i know in gateway.. well i did... i saw zeena, dan, fifi, cherry, mike celis (the last two from afar so i wasnt able o say "hi") .. so i thought that was it, but then i saw "mr. bagets"!!! i was so shocked hehe, di ko inexpect so i pretended not to know him! ang fun lang kase seeing him with his family was so creepy haha! $%#@##$
basta basta!

d)LAZY
im just so lazy.. hay sana lang nakakapayat tto but no...! haaaaaaaay!

so long

2005-12-03T20:45:00.000+04:00

as i was viewing my own blog i realized that its been so long since ive posted an entry, dati araw araw halos hehe.

siguro wala lang akong gana, guess im just tired of all the angst-ridden words, the venting out, or maybe im just so busy with work , blogging is becoming equal to wasting precious company resources. or maybe i dont find anything interesting with my life right now, its all so NOT about me, im taking a backseat; now im letting my friends take the spotlight---- from heartbreaks(right diona?) to blissful relationships(x & rhoda happy anniv!), its all about them muna..

so why now? i dunno maybe spending the whole saturday with my boss- a total of almost 8 whole hours just listening to him assess another presentation and waiting for our turn while pigging out on food and plying myself with 3 bottles of strong ice, just made me feel like typing anything....

ano nga ? haha... just read something interesting on friendster, nge, sa totoo lang, if he only knew.. ako ba yun? yoko na haha... wanna know, kwento ko nalang text tayo.. haha :(

moving on...

2005-11-24T17:09:00.000+04:00

i watched PRIME last night @ galleria with elaine (b4 b4 pa hehe) and jpmelo. i super enjoyed the movie.u should watch it kase maganda, di ko ikwekwento promise hehe... basta it was about a great love not meant to be; laugh trip pero ang bigat lang din kase biglang seseryoso., it was also about moving on and accepting that sometimes love alone is not really enough, napa bilib lang talaga ako sa ending.. ang sakit pero very real..

sabi ko tuloy sa sarili ko na ako rin..give up nako, i've moved on, he's not worth it. forget ko na ang love na hindi naman naging reality. i'm okay. i'm okay.

pero iba rin ang tadhana noh? late this afternoon someone from a recent past texted me after more than a week na non-text. parang may nag-tetest sa akin na , sige nga kung over ka na talaga, prove it, move on. para bang it was my chance to really go ahead and get a life.. pero haaaay.... kahit paano ko pilitin yung sarili ko-- super vague pa rin ang reply ko sa text, kahit gusto kong sabihin na, sige i'll go, bat ba choosy pako eh okay na naman dapat..di ko pala kaya.

i asked myself, bakit ba? tapos na realize ko there's still a part of me na nag-hahang on pa rin sa isang microscopic hope na may chance pa with the one i supposedly gave up on.. kainis kase ang unfair. what if hanggang dun na lang pala? what if dahil sa paghihintay ko, napapalampas ko na pala ang mga bagay/tao / pagkakataon na yun pala ang talagang magpapasaya sa akin?

unfair talaga. parang sinasadya na kase eh, paulit-ulit na lang, kung kelan ko pa natanggap na kaya ko na, tsaka parang pinatunayan sa akin na hindi pa pala, kahit ilan pa ang dumating sa buhay ko, unfair dahil yun at yun pa rin ang iniisip ko...

***

masochist ramblings from the internet...

The only true painful good-byes are the ones that are never said and never explained.

How could you forget me and so easily walk away, when I'd give up a thousand tomorrow's for just one yesterday

I say that I hate you because that’s what I want to believe. But deep down inside I know that no matter how much you hurt me, I’ll always forgive you. And I’m always going to be here waiting for you. For you to realize that what we had is real, and that you do need me as much as I need you. I know this may take time, but don’t worry I’ll be patient

You're not worth the tears. You're not worth the heartache. I don't know why I give you the time. You're not worth the pain. You're not worth the emptiness. I don't know why I wish you were mine

ItZ AmAzIn HoW SoMe 1 CaN BrEaK Ur HeArT-
BuT YoU CaN KeEp LuViN' ThEm Wit EvErY BrOkEn Bit

closing time

2005-11-19T16:22:00.000+04:00

grabe ang week. i was able to go to the gym monday morning and i was so happy because i was planning on going everyday. come tuesday, i had my gym bag prepared as i got off to work, but so many things-work related- came in the way that my bag remained unopened for the next four days. so so busy with new people coming in @ CDG , kaya super hectic lang. kapag namang tapos na work, closed na ang gym!!!!

even today-saturday was a busy one coz we had a scheduled presentation with ecs. i was not confident about our concepts but surprisingly everything turned out well, and we were able to finish at about 6pm, giving me a little time (gym closes at 8 on sat.) to finally open my gym bag and burn some fats! ayun at least i was able to shed some sweat hehe.

ngayon ill be going out muna with the girls, i wasnt able to go home to angeles this week because of the workload.haaay, i still have to do a little more revisions for the monday presentation and may utang pa akong assignment kay mike. . alam ko matatapos ako. repeat after me.. dream, believe, survive, HAH!

***
BUSY WEIRD!
kahit super busy i was able to go out on late night gimiks with friends! siguro thats the reason why i wasnt able to get my work done...talk about bad time management hehe.

PINK TUESDAY
videoke break with the girls

WHEN HARRY MET JEL
last full show with housemates @ eastwood; wednesday opening night

KISS FROM CONSTANTINE **sigh**
constantine live at greenbelt; thursday night with lye, sunny and arden

saturday-ed

2005-11-13T20:45:00.000+04:00

started my weekend by going home to angeles saturday morning, then i ate a lot upon arriving home coz my mom prepared a favorite dish- tortang talong, took a nap, then took a bath, went to the derma, went to church, then to my cousin's house, then had a chat with my aunt, then ate a light dinner, took a bath again, watched 6 episodes of Desperate Housewives, then went to sleep for almost 9 hours. Very routinary, very college, very highschool, very me 10 years ago.

when i woke up sunday morning, i felt so refreshed . maybe spending one whole saturday without any trace of ABSCBN work is just the thing for me. Every negative feeling that i had this past week was forgotten--- stress, depression, tiredness, heartaches (wehehe!) etcetera etcetera. i felt so recharged that all my worries seem to be very easy to solve. haaaaaaaaay... sana next saturday will be the same.. back to the lazy old me.

sana bukas

2005-11-10T20:06:00.000+04:00

sana bukas
masilayan
sana bukas
mapansin
sana bukas
iniiisip
sana bukas
nadarama
sana bukas
makamit
sana bukas
ikaw
sana...

regrets

2005-11-09T17:27:00.000+04:00

sige na nga. yes im posting this entry because i just can't help it.
I WANT TO VENT OUT!!! AAAAAAARGHHHH!

yesterday was a day full of complications.
i felt so happy, then confused, then simply irritated. then happy again. then i remembered that i was supposed to feel like shit , so i did. and yes until now i have a hang over. ugh.

something unexpected happened. something that i've been waiting for for so so long..(more than a week? na nga yata.) even if i convince myself that i'm okay , well i am, there's still this little nagging thought at the back of my mind wishing...hoping... and then there it was. a sign that maybe, just maybe there's still a chance. i didnt know what to do so i reacted in the stupidest way i know how. and then it was gone...

now i'm still inis at the thought that i am again affected. i don't want to remember, i don't want to think, i dont want to feel. kainis because i am still doing all of that.
sana lang bukas i'll forget na, sana i'll stop thinking about it (him?) , sana i'll stop feeling. period.
sana...

*** ON A LIGHTER NOTE-- here's one bright spot of my yesterday...

"Ang umasang magmamahal muli
Syang magagawa
Huwag hanapin ang pag ibig Ito'y darating
Ito'y darating
Ito'y darating sayo..."

my long awaited galera entry

2005-11-07T20:02:00.000+04:00

haha.. ive been back in manila since last thursday pa and i haven't been updating my blog and my friendster photos.. its actually weird, when there's nothing exciting happening with my life, i just blog and blog but now that i came back from a very bongga trip, i suddenly put it off.

maybe a part of me is still trying to hang on to the galera experience... maybe because i know that putting it on my blog will make it a real part of a past i just have to remember once in a while..*sigh*

anyway it was really fun, fun , fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so here's my second galera list of the year ( my first one was posted april ata so check it out nalang to compare hehe! part 2 nato)

NEXT 16 REASONS BAKIT MASAYA GALERA KO NGAYON?

masaya ang galera kasi...

1. kasama ko mga pinks and friends!
2. gimik till u drop
3.LaMUMBA
4. cheap masahe by the beach
5. major food trip! kebs sa fats!
6. our aircon room with tv hehe! ang babaw!
7. katamaran.. zzZZZZZZzzzZZZZZZZ......
8. soundtripping sa beach parin

9. sunset at sunrise walks
10. sunset picture taking
11. patintero with the waves
12. glitter tattoo
13. new boardshorts and shimmer lotion
14. h20 refill
15.meeting new friends
16.INTERNATIONAL BUFFET!!! (wink! wink!) kebabs, kimchi, tempura, bibbo hotdogs.. name it! haha

of surprise parties and despedida dinners

2005-10-27T09:37:00.000+04:00

the same day that we were preparing for a surprise party for candice (a new cdg member), i learned that one my closest friends in cdg (and my gym buddy) will be leaving.

when she told me her reasons and how she really didnt want to go, i didnt know how to react.
i was trying to divert the conversation to other topics, -- her plans, jobs, gym, or to things totally not related---and i dont know if it came to a point that it semed that i didnt really care that much. but maybe the real reason is that i can't bear to face the fear that is growing inside me, -- the fear of losing the people that matters so much to me..

Not so long ago.. i was so happy with cdg friends, we go out a lot, bonding moments, chikahan , coffee, out of town, star city, playing groupies.. then slowly, some of them had to go-- ces, dodi, jobeelita, bheng , dan, inggy, bridge..

those of us left had to start over and build new relationships.. then just as we were getting comfortable , thay also have to leave .. a couple of weeks ago , dian had to leave, sayang coz i know that given more time , we couldve been real close friends-- :)

now there's leni. her leaving was a wake up call for me. i know that yes, of course, we'll see each other again, lots of times, but it will never be the same as being with each other everyday, gym-ing b4 office, dieting to no avail, chikahan about people we don't really know, exclaiming "yuuuuuuuuuck!" together... i realized then that i should cherish every moment with people i love coz i don't know if tomorrow, i'll still have the chance to be with them as often as i like.

It’s time to say goodbye
to all the things we used to do now
It’s time to say goodbye
to all the friends we used to see now
Even though I know that this is really not the end
Time to say goodbye

failed expectations

2005-10-24T08:00:00.000+04:00

it was tight, sweaty, very hot, tiring and unsatisfying.

no im not referring to anyhing YOU are thinking about, haha! weird as it is im talking about the WORLDS LONGEST BUFFET @ eastwood last saturday!
the buffet scenario was already clearly and beautifully painted in my mind-- i'll cruise down the buffet line with ease and eat to my heart's and stomach's content! oh and i even have Zip Lock bags ready so i could stash some sweets when nobody's looking.. but no! the experience was frustrating. eastwood was so crowded and the food was almost gone within 30 min of the buffet's opening. As the trays got alarmingly empty with me not yet eating anything but a piece of maki, I decided to wolf down anything i see just so i could eat anything.when i saw that the PASTO station was not that crowded, i got every pasta variation to fill my plate, but that was the most exciting set of food ive tried,after that, it was war. i had to fight my way through the rumble for 2 pcs of Mcdo Chicken nuggets! and yes i got shouted at because of 3 pcs of Kenny Rogers Muffins! so maybe you're thinking what am i doing in the world's longest buffet eating mcdonalds and kenny rogers? actually i also dont know. sigh. at least i was able to eat something unlike many others who had to demand for a refund.

the experience itself was okay considering i became a part of a world record attempt but it was definitely not fun. To quote reg, one my my sister's friends: "this is definitely not the World's Longest Buffet but THE WORLD"S LONGEST LINE OF HUNGRY PEOPLE!"

"the best way to avoid disappointment is to never expect"

SHOUT OUTS!!! welcome ANDREI XYAN! anne 's new baby boy and my future inaanak daw hehe!

diet

2005-10-22T01:47:00.000+04:00

i kept on starving myself these past few days (well not really THAT starving) but close ;)
i figured eating a lot is synonymous to wasting gym money and effort. but actually i have two major reasons:

EASTWOOD's LONGEST BUFFET TONIGHT!

PUERTO GALERA NEXT WEEKEND

oh and one more...!

see you tonight @ baybreak!

gym song

2005-10-21T13:13:00.000+04:00

this kept on playing over and over while i was on the treadmill this morning..huh.

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you,
My heart says follow t'rough.
But I know, now, that I'm way down on your line,
But the waitin' feel is fine:
So don't treat me like a puppet on a string,
'Cause I know I have to do my thing.
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb;
I wanna know when you're gonna come - soon.

It's been three years since I'm knockin' on your door,
And I still can knock some more:
is it feasible?I wanna know now, for I to knock some more.
in life I know there's lots of grief,
But your love is my relief:

Tears in my eyes burn -
While I'm waiting - while I'm waiting for my turn,

unexpected

2005-10-19T15:31:00.000+04:00

i hate surprises.

Oh okay i have to admit that there's this happy or "kilig" moment whenever a nice surprise hits me in the face. But i just realized recently that i'm not the type who reacts well to unexpected things. why? i dunno.. some of my friends tell me it's because i'm O.C. coz i have this irrational urge to make a daily checklist of what i plan to do for the day, but most of them also know that i follow this checklist just as religiously as i follow my diet-- 20%-25% max success rate! ugh. but still i load up my to-do list JUST IN CASE, coz i just dont wanna see myself just bumming around. yep time is gold, yuck. :)

i also have the tendency to multi-task and multi-think. no this not an advantage. this makes me a very confusing person to talk to. ask zeena. i can't seem to finish telling one story straight--without putting in 2-3 sub-stories in between. maybe its also because im very makakalimutin, i tend to shift attention easily, making me forget things.. am i making sense?

anyway, since i have a lot of things going on inside this head of mine--whenever something unexpected comes up, my heart jumps--LITERALLY. i hate it. there's just this gulat factor that scrambles my world and leaves me frazzled. these little inconsistencies shift my focus to things i really can't do anything about! shit.

again, i might not be making any sense but i just want to vent out. wala lang. so the next time we talk, or the next time we see each other... tell me the agenda beforehand..but i guess that may be inconvenient... so.. nah, surprise me. i could use the chaos.

"nakakainis minsan,
hindi mo naman siya inimbita,
tapos biglang darating sya sa mundo mo,
tapos pag mahalaga na sya sayo,
bigla nalang syang mawawala,
tangay ang mundo mong
dati'y sayo lang..."

--text ni Lenzkie

on friendship

2005-10-13T18:22:00.000+04:00

while watching pinoy big brother, Xavier posed this question to us:
"if you were to be one of the last 2 people in the pinoy big brother house , who would you choose among your CDG officemates to be in there with you?"

i did not give an answer right away because id have to think about it syempre...
grabe para kasi easy answer lang pero mind twister din sya eh, especially when other people you also care about are there to hear it.
well given na siguro that it would be zeena coz sa office, she's my best friend naman , college pa din , close na kame..from the CDG pinks naman na close ko sa office, 3 nalang kame natira-- including me and zeena, (wala na elaine, bridge and ces) so that leaves mother Lye na lang. na syempre i wud also choose din to be with me. Or maybe jp melo na friend ko na rin for almost 3 years na, pero knowing myself, i always to try to come up with a perfect answer although sometimes it doesnt come out that perfectly hehe... na realize ko na , i dont even have to answer this.. why? kasi if i were in the PBB house , and it would be up to me kung sino ang pipiliing matira with me.. siguro i would voluntary evict myself na lang than choose.. corny pero totoo, ganun ako eh, ganun naman talaga..

"People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is"

i just feel like SAY-ing! hehe

2005-10-12T12:46:00.000+04:00

need i SAY more ? at least something good came out of JB being evicted from the PBB HOUSE... he met me!haha!

HOT DATE!

2005-10-11T11:35:00.000+04:00

more pics lang

2005-10-11T11:20:00.000+04:00

sunday night chill out with closey friends...

LIKING IT

2005-10-10T20:33:00.000+04:00

I SAW THIS LANG ON THE NET... INTERESTING PERO I DONT REALLY BELIEVE IT, WADYOUTHINK?

HOW TO TELL IF A GUY LIKES A GIRL:
1. The guy will try to make you laugh.
2. He'll flirt with you when he can.
3. He might try to show off around you.
4. He'll help you out, if you ask for it.
5. He'll stick up for you when you need it most.
6. He'll be friendly to you and all your friends.
7. He might call you for no good reason.
8. He might make fun of you, in a joking way.
9. He'll tell you that you did good, even if you did horrible.
10. He'll make eye contact with a happy grin on his face.

HOW TO TELL IF A GIRL LIKES A GUY:
1. The girl will laugh at all your jokes.
2. She'll stare at you with a smile on her face.
3. She'll ask you who you like, continuously.
4. She might try to make you jealous.
5. She'll beg that you do everything for her.
6. She might start talking to your friends.
7. She'll talk to you about the different varieties of guys.
8. She'll always seem to be talking about how nice you are.
9. She'll always be flirting with every other guy except you.
10. She'll always ask what to do in a bad situation.

feeling lang...

2005-10-09T14:22:00.000+04:00

Sandali na lang
Maari bang pagbigyan
Aalis na nga
Maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
Sana ay maabot ng langit ang iyong mga ngiti
Sana ay masilip
Wag kang mag-alala
Di ko ipipilit sa 'yo
Kahit na lilipad ang isip ko'y torete sa 'yo
Ilang gabi pa nga lang
Nang tayo'y pinagtagpo
Na parang may tumulak
Nanlalamig, nanginginig na ako
Akala ko nung unaMay bukas ang ganito
Mabuti pang umiwasPero salamat na rin at nagtagpo
Torete, torete, torete sa 'yo

moving out, and in, welcome housemates!~!

2005-10-02T19:30:00.000+04:00

my last 2 years were [un?]blissfully spent @ unit 821 UP BLISS in philcoa. and so much has happened that i can't help but feel nostalgic now that we are moving out-- yep ALL OF US- all 5 of us housemates are moving to a new place.

flashback October 2003: my sister and i felt that it was time for us to move out and find a new place where we could be independent.for the past 3 years, we have been living in boarding houses and we have spent exactly 1 year 1/2 at each of the 2 places- the first one in area 2 and the second one @pook dagohoy. jen and i, together with 4 others rented a place at UP BLISS- our own place- no rules, no landlady, no maids, no anything- even furnitures and chairs! we so bravely moved in there just bringing our clothes and books and even had to sleep at the floor the first few weeks! gradually we started filling up our abode w/ nice little stuff, but we cant really avoid the problematic cheverness that crops up, like insects etcetera-that-i-dont-wanna-mention- here , well the building was old really old so even if we clean it up so so much , it still doesnt look THAT clean hehe. oh and my housemates? there's knolls and glenda- my friends slash blockmates @ Archi, knoll's sister-grace from UST and jhoann- glenda's roommate from another place. UNIT 821 has a lot of memories - good and bad, yes there are times when we also fight- but we have surpassed that all, i became comfortable with my housemates that i even thought of pitching a sitcom patterned before us hehe [b4 pinoy bigbro pa].

but after college- everyone is working na but grace [still 4th yr] and we were down to 5 coz jho got hitched already.. philcoa felt inconvenient for all of us. 2 are working in west ave while i work in abs, jen works far but her concern is safety coz she witnessed a shooting[as in barilan] in philcoa, grace is ok-basta ok lang sakayan to uste. while me oh me , spend so much money on taxi fares ugh!

so now: WE HAVE A NEW PLACE! ITS IN SCT BORROMEO NEAR TROPICAL HUT PANAY AVE AND NATIO Q.AVE! yep its near and accessible to all of us- nice nice nice talaga but were having problems with tubig as in water loss talaga , kainis! tsaka its in the topmost [5th flr] so total body workout talaga as in. the 5 of us are still 2gether but we have 3 new housemates, lye, bet and diona. hope we'll get along together! 8 people, 1 house, 1 cr! very pinoy big brother hehe! were having a housewarming on friday pla [hpefully we can iron out plans] oct7 yun so ur all invited hehe basta bring fud lang! we provide the painom, just dont get urself too drunk coz you'll have to go down 5 floors pa of stairs hehe!

so there you go, welcome housemates!

GO BIG TIME!

2005-09-30T18:50:00.000+04:00

ganda ng view!

2005-09-06T11:52:00.000+04:00

CAVITE SIGHTINGS!

busily lazing around...

2005-08-19T17:20:00.001+04:00

wow ha.. kahit super busy ako i still try to find time para ma-squeeze ang sasaglit na fun fun fun! meeting up with some friends in between work somehow erase the tiredness kase.. i'll post pictures soon-- basta pag na figure ko na mms ng fone ko, hehehe go!

heLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL weeKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

2005-08-11T22:44:00.000+04:00

wow! i actually have time to do this? haha! super short hi to all, whoever...!

my new boyfriend haha!

2005-08-01T21:01:00.000+04:00

need i say more?

haha!

picture picture!

2005-07-19T09:27:00.000+04:00

magkasingchubby na kame!hehe!

freestylin' with josh!cutie!

subic with cdg friends!

2005-07-01T13:13:00.000+04:00

super enjoy to kase minsan lang kame makawala outside of ABS!
april 30-may 1 2005 po ito, mali ang date sa digicam hehe!

morning fresh!

2005-07-01T13:11:00.000+04:00

with lyelyelye!

and now im back from...

2005-07-01T13:07:00.000+04:00

outerspace!!! ngef!

so busy busy busy!
nagpaparamdam lang hehe!

/jeljel

2005-05-12T14:48:00.000+04:00

Zeena and moi!

star strucked!

more pictures- in the midst of haggardnezz!!

2005-05-12T14:37:00.000+04:00

Zeena and me!

eto pa! star strucked??? haha!